Headphone Infatuation

INGRID MICHAELSON: HUMAN AGAIN (ALBUM REVIEW)

2012-01-30T07:27:00.000-08:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

Singer/songwriter Ingrid Michaelson’s heart is like a vineyard grape: a fragile object that was stomped on and crushed until all that was left of it was a bloody mess.

With a mess like that, you can do two things: either discard what’s left or use it to create a bottle of wine. And the latter is precisely what Ingrid has done with her fifth release, Human Again. She’s taken her heartbreak and turned it into the finest Merlot: a richly textured and full-bodied product with deep crimson tones and a satisfyingly tart edge.

Channeling the angst and vulnerability of its predecessors like Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill or Kelly Clarkson’s My December, Human Again is a raw and brutal portrait of the end of a relationship and the tide that comes after the storm.

On Human Again, Ingrid also trades in her signature ukulele for a grittier rock sound to match the darkness of the album’s theme. Upon first hearing her play cuts from the record at her annual Holiday Hop back in December (which I reviewed here), I immediately knew that Human Again would give birth to a much more mature and musically evolved Ingrid than the one her fans were used to.

And while the record is a natural next stop following her last release (2009’s Everybody), Human Again will come as a surprise to those who expect another near-acoustic compilation of cutesy love songs and occasional Grey’s Anatomy-ready self-deprecating ballads.

The album opens with “Fire,” a track with a string opening so bombastic that it almost seems like it’s challenging the orchestration of The Veronicas’ “Untouched” to a duel. The track perfectly sets up the tone of the album as Ingrid sings about pursuing a toxic love. And despite knowing the danger that lies within the flames, she can’t help but be the moth drawn to its enticing glow.

“You burn me up and I love it/Now I’m walking in, walking in a fire/I’m walking in a fire with you/I’m walking in, walking in a fire/When I walk into you,” Ingrid sings over the driving percussion pulse and a clashing battle of violins.

Up next is “This Is War,” a song about the struggles one must face when leaving a relationship behind. But instead of succumbing to the pain inflicted upon her, Ingrid uses the track to pick herself up from the ditch her former lover is kicking her into. “You lock me out and knock me down/And I will find my away around/I won’t surrender/This is war,” she triumphantly declares.

This Oprah-approved attitude of moving forward and learning from a relationship instead of allowing it to cripple you is one that appears throughout much of Human Again. Upbeat tracks like the rock-driven “Palm Of Your Hand,” the funk-injected “Black and Blue” and the confectious piano-pop anthem “Do It Now” showcase Ingrid’s unwillingness to settle – no matter how tempting a prospect at times.

But as in any tale of major heartbreak, for every moment of strength comes a moment of weakness. A moment where despite your better judgments, you give into your masochistic instincts and find yourself paralyzed by the after-effects of sleeping in the bed you once shared with someone you love. And on Human Again, these moments are abound.

The most harrowing example is “I’m Through,” a gut-wrenching ballad that tells the story of Ingrid’s inability to let go of her ex. In the song, she’s dating someone new. They laugh together and have a seemingly good time, but, simply put, “he holds the door and holds my hand but doesn’t feel like you.” Never one to shy away from exposing her innermost emotions in her lyrics, Ingrid has written a song that flawlessly illustrates the pain that comes with trying to force yourself to move on before you’re ready to.

Yet sometimes feeling that pain is precisely the kick in the ass you need to be able to continue. “No, no, don’t rescue me/I like the saltwater sting/It feels so good to feel/It feels so good just to feel something,” she sings on the Fiona Apple-esque “In The Sea.” In other words, the wound is raw is but the pain is at least a reminder that she’s still capable of feeling. Way to put a positive twist on a heart-shattering concept, huh?

Production wise, Human Again is the most advanced we’ve heard Ingrid yet. Songs like album standout “Ribbons,” the bluesy “End Of The World” and bonus track “Live It With Love” are fueled by illustrious harmonies and background vocals that accompany her already gorgeous voice far more than in her previous releases.

Yet don’t be fooled into thinking that the singer/songwriter quality of Ingrid’s music is gone. Tracks like the soft “How We Love,” “Keep Me Warm” and “Always You” serve as gentle reminders that Ingrid is still the go-to chanteuse for your smoky coffeehouse playlists.

Debuting at the top of the iTunes charts and projected to premiere in the top five on next week’s Billboard charts, Human Again is a true testament to Ingrid’s artistry. It’s a rare record in that it marks a major evolution for an already established musician while both preserving and amplifying the authenticity of her previous releases.

Scaling the entire spectrum of heartbreak, Human Again is an album as phenomenal as it is honest from start to finish. Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy now. But fair warning: if you’ve recently experienced a bad breakup, you may want to hide all sharp objects before listening.

Human Again was released on January 24.

Originally published on MuuMuse

(Official lyric video for "Ghost" by Ingrid Michaelson)

EXCLUSIVE: INTERVIEW WITH JOJO

2012-01-25T13:55:00.000-08:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

In 2004, 13-year-old singer JoJo became the youngest person to ever have a #1 single on Billboard’s Top 40 mainstream charts with her smash, “Leave (Get Out).” Two years later, she relived Top 5 Billboard chart success with “Too Little Too Late,” the platinum-certified lead single off of her sophomore album.

But then a whole lot of shadiness happened over at JoJo’s label, Blackground Records. And despite her seven-album contract, it was unclear when her fans could be expecting another record from the singer. In the meantime, JoJo starred in a number of films (such as R.V. alongside Robbie Williams), released a mixtape and assured fans that more new music was on the way.

This spring, the wait will finally be over.

Six years after the release of her last official record, the now 21-year-old popstar is set to make a comeback of epic proportions this spring with the release of Jumping Trains, her third official album and her first with Interscope Records.

With lead single “Disaster” currently impacting radio (the music video is posted below), I spoke with JoJo about the creative process and evolution of Jumping Trains, her touring plans, her newfound adoration for Madonna and more.

What does the title, Jumping Trains, mean to you?

Jumping Trains has taken on a few different meanings for me. Relocating from Massachusetts to L.A. was definitely a big transition for me. Then there’s that natural progression of growing from girl to woman, changing labels, leaving certain things behind and moving onto a new chapter, a new season and bringing fresh energy in. When you think of actually jumping trains, it’s dangerous and exhilarating – but if you make it, it’s worth the risk. So I wanted to bring that idea to the project.

The album’s lead single “Disaster” marks the first time you’ve broken into the Top 40 Billboard Pop Songs chart since “Too Little Too Late.” How did you celebrate when you heard the news?

(laughs) Well, I haven’t celebrated it yet. But if it continues to climb, maybe I’ll pop open a bottle of champagne with my team. But there’s still much more to be done.

Based on what we’ve heard so far, Jumping Trains will be a much edgier and sexier record than your previous releases. On your website, you call this directional shift, “pop with an anger-management problem.” Can you elaborate a little bit about what you mean by that and talk to what sparked this musical evolution?

Sure. It was very natural. The recording process has been very organic. Whatever’s going on in my life is going to be reflected in the music. And by the way, I’m still recording. That never stops. I’m constantly writing and this album continues to evolve. But for a great chunk of time, I was in this very angsty place where I felt like I was fighting against the world. I was in a toxic relationship and everything was just dramatic so I did write a lot about that. But now that I’m out of that, this is definitely not going to be a “guy bashing” album or a “me against the world” album. It’s just a really honest representation of a girl trying to make her way through her 20s.

How representative is “Disaster” of the overall thematic structure and sound of Jumping Trains?

That’s a good question. I would say that “Disaster” is one of the more straight forward pop records on this album. I wanted this album to be infused with all the different genres of music that inspire me and keep me going. So I would say that “Disaster” is the most rock/pop record on here. And while there is a lot of diversity on the album, this is the most cohesive body of work that I’ve put out.

So if you had to classify the album with a single genre, what would it be?

I think pop would be most appropriate because it covers such a wide variety of things today. We call Adele, Rihanna and Lady GaGa “pop,” but I think they’re all quite different in the things that they come out with.

The releases of your mixtape, buzz single “The Other Chick” and eventually “Disaster,” introduced your fans to a much more mature and lyrically exposed singer and songwriter than the one we’ve been used to. What about grown-up JoJo will shock your fans the most?

(laughs) Well it might be shocking for them if I curse or if I talk about sex or if I’m opinionated and outspoken. Or even if I’m a little rough around the edges. I’m not really sure what the most shocking thing would be but I just try to be myself because that’s all I can do.

Your cover of Drake’s “Marvin’s Room” exploded all over the blogosphere last year and has hit over 21 million views on YouTube. Were you surprised by the huge reaction the song received?

Oh, I was totally surprised! I had no idea anyone would even want to listen to it. I just really loved Drake’s song. I loved what he was saying in it. I thought he was very vulnerable and honest and I thought it was very bold of him to say the things that he said. So I said to myself, “I’m going to take a stab at this. I’m feeling kind of emo right now and I’ve got some pain in my heart so why not try letting it out?”

The way you discuss the themes of female empowerment in your music call to memory the massive “girl power” movement around the prime of the Spice Girls. What women in the industry inspire you most as both a songwriter and a performer?

Well, I’ve been doing a lot of studying lately. I’ve been obsessing over YouTube clips and Googling things and reading books about people that I consider to be icons. So I’ve been researching people like Madonna and Joni Mitchell and more current day people like Beyonce, Celine Dion and even Alanis Morissette. I’m just really interested to learn about these women who built these empires that kind of transcend music. They’re just all really smart with their money and with their branding. I think it’s a wonderful time to be a woman and I try to take what I can from the people who have come before me. Like I think that Madonna is so brilliant. I have a totally newfound respect for her after I just watched her Truth or Dare documentary. I know that that’s old news and that it came out years and years ago but it was new to me. I was too young, obviously, when it came out and I’m just so, so inspired by her.

That’s so funny that you mention Truth or Dare because I watched that movie literally three days ago with a friend of mine and we were talking about how even if someone is not a Madonna fan per say, it’s a movie so worth watching.

Exactly! I definitely didn’t consider myself a diehard fan or anything like that but after I watched this, I thought to myself that there’s just no denying that this woman deserves her place in history forever.

Absolutely. And speaking of Madonna, she’s going to be playing the halftime show at the Super Bowl next weekend. I know you’re a big sports fan so are you going to be doing anything special for the game? Which team are you rooting for?

Oh, definitely The Patriots. I actually grew up with their stadium in my backyard in Foxborough. So I’m really excited! I’m not sure what my plans are yet. I’m not even sure yet where I’ll be. I don’t know if I’ll be in L.A. or on the road but wherever I’ll be, I’ll be celebrating (laughs).

Last year, you toured with Joe Jonas and Jay Sean, took part in Hard Rock Café’s Pinktober tour for breast cancer awareness and in a couple of weeks, you’ll be hitting the road again by joining Big Time Rush. Which of your new songs are you most excited to perform for a live audience?

Honestly, I can’t wait to share everything with the audience. I’m not going to be playing the whole album yet. I’m obviously a little nervous about that because we’ve had so many leaks. But I’ll definitely play some cuts off the new album because I really do want to share them and hear peoples’ opinions. But I also don’t want the material to be stale by the time the album comes out. I’m most looking forward to when the album is released and being able to perform all of the songs because they really are my babies. Especially the more emotional records or the ones that feel like excerpts of conversations that I’ve had. I’m really excited about that.

What’s your signature ritual to preserve your voice when you’re out on the road and performing so much?

(laughs) The signature JoJo thing is that I take shots of extra virgin olive oil before every performance. It lubricates your throat. It’s so effing disgusting and just thinking about it makes me want to throw up right now. But I do it. I cover my nose and I take shots of it. And then after a show, I like to have a hot toddy.

You’ve been working on this album for literally years now. How have the songs evolved from when you first wrote and recorded them to the mastered versions we’ll be hearing when Jumping Trains hits stores?

I know that sounds like, “oh my god, that’s so long,” but I just never stop, you know what I mean? Since there hadn’t been a release date for so long, I was just like, “eff it, I’m going to stay in the studio.” There’s definitely been an evolution in the lyrical content, in the vocals, in the maturity and a whole bunch of other things. I just experimented with a lot of sounds to see where I felt comfortable, what worked best and what people were responding to. And I think we came up with something that I’m really proud of. In the beginning, I experimented with genres like neo-soul, jazz and things like that. I’m kind of musically schizophrenic and I just explored as much as I could. Right now we have this overall pop record but it is infused with hip-hop, rock and even some country melodies. It’s just a mix of things that influence me.

Aside from being a singer, you’ve also appeared as an actress in quite a few feature films. Can we expect to see you on the big screen again anytime soon?

Definitely. I love to act. It’s just not my main focus right at the moment because I’m so involved in getting this album out and promoting it and making sure that I give it my full attention. But when the right project comes along, I’d love to act again and would love to continue to do it in the future.

As someone who’s spent so much of her life in the limelight, how have you managed to avoid the troubles and downward spirals that so many child stars unfortunately experience?

I find this question to be really interesting because I am not without faults and I am certainly by no means an angel. I’ve had my share of ups and downs – they just haven’t been publicized. I don’t like to make a spectacle of myself – and I’m not saying that these people do – but when I’m going through something, I try to contain it and keep it more within my camp. I think I’m just lucky. I come from a small town in Massachusetts and I don’t want to ever embarrass my family or my friends or my team and I just think that I’m very conscious of the way I represent myself.

Do you already have plans for a follow-up single to “Disaster” leading up to the release of Jumping Trains?

Yeah, there are plans but I’m still really focused on “Disaster.” It’s just starting to kick off so I really want to just stay concentrated on that for now.

And for my last question: if you were running for President of the United States in 2012, what would your official campaign slogan be?

(laughs) Wow. Great question. Hmm … well okay, I’ll say this because it’s the first thing that comes to mind and I just got it tattooed on myself. I grew up in Massachusetts and New Hampshire and it’s the New Hampshire state motto, “Live free or die.” I don’t know if that’s a slogan for a campaign but that’s what I’m going to say. Live free or die. (laughs)

I like that! Thanks so much, JoJo. I’m really looking forward to the new record and it was very nice to chat with you.

Aw, thank you! I appreciate you so much. It was great talking to you.

Originally published on PopBytes

THE "AUTHENTICITY" OF LANA DEL REY

2012-01-18T04:55:00.000-08:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

This past Sunday morning couldn’t have been pleasant for singer Lana Del Rey.

The already controversial up-and-comer had just made her American television performance debut as the musical guest on Saturday Night Live. With this month’s upcoming release of her first major label album, Born To Die, there was much hype and anticipation before her SNL appearance. But her two performances (which you can watch here) were distinctly underwhelming.

Del Rey looked nervous and bored and had very little stage presence. Not to mention her vocals seemed off. All of a sudden, her post-SNL career seemed to have been given the Ashlee-Simpson-kiss-of-death before it had even really started. Across the web, Del Rey was panned from all angles.

But there’s just one problem: a large portion of the criticism of her failed to focus on her music. Which is why I say let’s not rush to judgment.

True, I haven’t yet been blown away by any of the songs I’ve heard from Del Rey. But I want to listen to Born To Die before forming my opinions. Sadly, I seem to be the exception here. Many people are all too eager to write her off before the record even has a chance to hit stores. Why? On the grounds that she is “inauthentic” – an adjective that has been used by Del Rey’s critics almost synonymously with her name.

But how exactly is Del Rey “inauthentic”? Because she was born as Lizzy Grant and opted to use a stage name for her pop persona? That argument really sucks. Think of Judy Garland, Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe and a substantial chunk of the rest of the entertainment industry. Stage names are everywhere and we love stars who use them, forgetting that they ever were called anything else.

Or is it because she had obvious plastic surgery? If Del Rey’s infamous pout had been enhanced by Photoshop on a magazine cover instead of by needles at a doctor’s office, we’d probably be okay with it. She’d be adhering to our cultural expectations of what a 25-year-old female singer should look like.

What so many people aren’t willing to admit is how petty and illogical many of the “authenticity” critiques of her really are. Or that the “identities” of other pop stars we culturally embrace are not carefully manufactured to maintain certain public perceptions of who they are.

Take Lady Gaga. One day, she’s Tisch alumn Stefani Germanotta playing open mic nights at piano bars on the Lower East Side. The next, she’s a global pop icon who can sell out three headlining shows at Madison Square Garden in just one hour.

Yet the fact that Gaga transformed herself into this expertly crafted piece of performance art when she released her debut record in 2008 never produced the charge that she wasn’t “being true to herself.” Instead, it got fans so interested in her that she’s selling millions of copies of her records and is the world’s most followed person on Twitter.

Lana Del Rey is no different. She is to Lizzy Grant what Lady Gaga is to Stefani Germanotta: a carefully crafted character who illustrates the side of her that she feels best represents the music she’s making. And there’s no arguing that the character of Lady Gaga is what put Stefani Germanotta on the map.

Then there’s Katy Perry. Before she was singing wretched songs about blacking out on Friday nights, she was gospel singer Katy Hudson. But when she wanted to rip off her wimple in favor of whipped cream shooting out of her chest, she started fresh by releasing her “debut” album under the pseudonym of Katy Perry. Now she’s a record-breaking pop sensation and international sex icon who couldn’t be more opposite from the wholesome pastor’s daughter character she was when she first entered the music scene. Yet of all the things that have been said and written about her, Perry has never been crucified (at least on a mainstream level) for her lack of authenticity.

So then why is Del Rey? If she had waited until she experienced Billboard success and then slapped “Sasha Fierce” to the title of her next album, would it have been okay for her to take on an alter ego? To be relevant in a continuously and rapidly evolving pop climate, you need to at least be open to the idea of revamping your image. Do you really think Madonna would be playing the halftime show at the Super Bowl in 2012 if she hadn’t reinvented her persona time and time again after her 1983 debut?

There’s a reason that artists like Christina Aguilera have entirely brand new looks with each new album they put out. It’s so that the focus of the conversation is on them. That doesn’t mean they’re not genuine. It means that they’re smart business people.

And that’s exactly what’s happening with Del Rey. Her first major album hasn’t even been released yet and she’s already been asked to be the musical guest on Saturday Night Live and has made countless headlines. She’s even got NBC news anchor Brian Williams sharing his opinion of her. How many people can make these claims? And despite the seemingly negative attention, Del Rey’s album sampler EP climbed to #2 on the iTunes charts (falling just under the adorably untouchable chart-hog Adele).

“It’s evident that the American public is now not only aware of this controversial new singer, but that they’re interested in learning more about who she is and what she sounds like,” wrote VH1 Managing Editor Mark Graham in a blog post following the SNL debacle. “In other words, mission accomplished for Team LDR.”

So if you want to dismiss Lana Del Rey, that’s obviously totally fine. Just realize that the criteria you should be judging her on is her music and her music alone. Her “authenticity” should play no role in how her songs are received. Sorry America, but as the genius South Park episode about Britney Spears pointed out, it’s not your job to dictate how pop stars should live their lives. Not to be that guy, but can we just for once collectively decide to let the music do the talking?

Born To Die is now available to pre-order from iTunes.

Originally published on PopBytes

GREY'S ANATOMY: WHY TEDDY WON'T BE IZZIE 2.0

2012-01-16T08:54:00.000-08:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

In Italy, her actions could be considered a crime of passion. On The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, she would be dubbed “morally corrupt.” But no matter how you see it, there’s no denying that when Dr. Izzie Stevens (Katherine Heigl) cut her terminally ill fiancée’s LVAD wire to bump him to the top of the heart transplant recipient list, she would never be the same again.

In fact, you’ll be hard pressed to find a fan of ABC’s primetime medical drama Grey’s Anatomy who doesn’t consider Denny’s (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) death in the show’s second season finale to be one of the series’ most iconic and heartbreaking moments.

And while the episode itself was more of a tearjerker than Nicholas Sparks could ever dream of concocting in the estrogen-soaked lab he shares with Jodi Picoult, the sting felt by its aftermath was just as harsh.

It was after Denny’s death that Izzie became a hollow shell of the person she used to be. Who could forget the season three premiere when she lay on her bathroom floor, unable to move or accept the help she was being offered? Even when she found love again in Alex Karev (Justin Chambers) seasons later, she was still (and quite literally in the case of season five) haunted by the memory of Denny.

Now in its eighth season, Grey’s Anatomy remains one of ABC’s highest rated shows. And while Izzie may be long gone (Heigl ended her contract to pursue a career as a film “star”), a situation similar to hers is currently shaking the grounds of Seattle Grace/Mercy West Hospital: the death of Henry Burton.

For those of you who hate good television and therefore don’t know, Henry Burton (the unfairly handsome Scott Foley) was married to Dr. Teddy Altman (Kim Raver). Like Denny, he too began his journey down the road of Grey’s romantic drama as a patient. But despite what many critics and fans are currently hypothesizing, Henry’s death will not turn Teddy into Izzie 2.0.

For starters, Teddy is a tough cookie. This is not to say that she isn’t incredibly impacted by Henry’s unfortunate fate or that Izzie is weak – but rather to point out that Teddy has a thick coat of armor from the tragedy she’s already had to endure. She is, after all, a woman who lost her best friend in 9/11 and later served as a doctor to our troops in Iraq. And whereas you got the impression that Izzie spent her whole life planning a fairytale wedding and ripping out pages of Cosmo, Teddy has never been the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve.

Therefore, the main dividing line at which the comparisons between Denny and Henry’s deaths are drawn is at the coping mechanisms of their significant others.

Following Denny’s death, Izzie immediately wanted to quit her internship program and leave the medical field. Her entire world stopped and she lost sight of her purpose in it. Without Denny, Izzie temporarily lost her entire sense of identity.

But in the episode that followed Teddy’s discovery of Henry’s death (which aired this past Thursday), she was back in the OR, dry-eyed and characteristically bossy as she continued to save the lives of others.

And where Izzie largely blamed herself for Denny’s death, Teddy comes to the realization that Henry’s death was inevitable. In the most recent episode, there’s a devastating reoccurring scene in which Teddy asks Cristina to tell her from beginning to end the measures she took to try and save Henry’s life while operating on him. Difficult as it is, Cristina does this over and over again as she knows that this is something she must do to help her friend begin to heal.

Yet despite Cristina’s inability to save Henry, Teddy points no fingers. At the end of the episode, there’s a particularly poignant scene in which Cristina is once again recounting the events of Henry’s surgery and Teddy chimes in to finish the story with her. The details have all sunk in. She understands how and why Henry died. She knows that nothing could have been done differently to save him. Once again, Teddy comes to terms with the fact that she has lost the most important person in her life.

From what we’ve seen so far, it’s safe to say that Teddy will prove the naysayers wrong and will externalize her pain in a very different way than Izzie did. She refuses to let her loss serve as a catalyst for her personal demise and there’s no doubt that she’ll force herself to soldier on. Now it’s just the question of how.

“I can’t even imagine how she’s going to trust to open up her heart again,” Raver told The Hollywood Reporter. “When she did lose her best friend in 9/11 and went to Iraq, her PTSD wasn’t really apparent; she was very positive. I think that is one of her amazing qualities: she finds the positive, life-affirming thing. But I think there is a depth of sadness underneath all of that. I can’t imagine how she will bounce back from the loss of Henry because I feel for her that was her first and major true love. She imagined the rest of her life with him so I don’t know how she will open up to that again. But that will be an interesting journey.”

Grey’s Anatomy airs on ABC on Thursdays at 9:00. Below, watch the trailer for this week’s new episode:

Originally published on PopBytes

MY MOST ANTICIPATED MUSIC RELEASES OF 2012

2011-12-31T12:16:00.000-08:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

2011 was without a doubt the year of the diva. Adele snatched Taylor Swift’s wig to become the reigning queen of the charts. Katy Perry broke Billboard records by continuing to brainwash America to buy the cyclically re-packaged singles from her intolerable 2010 album, Teenage Dream. Britney kept on “dancing” until the world ended. Rihanna found love in many-a hopeless place, including guest spots on albums by Coldplay and Drake, while Beyonce learned the hard way that critical and commercial success are two very different things.

Kelly Clarkson decided to endorse both Ron Paul and the notion that she’ll never relive the success of “Since U Been Gone.” Lady GaGa struggled to separate church and pop. Melissa Gorga essentially remade Lindsay Lohan’s seminal classic, “Rumors.” And Jessie J. and Nicole Scherzinger continued their “survival of the fittest” flop-off to see who would be more irrelevant by the time the ball drops in Times Square to ring in the new year.

So what’s in store for 2012? It looks like the diva reign won’t be letting up anytime soon as new albums from Madonna and Cher are sure to usher in a new era of meno-pop. Christina Aguilera will be coming out with her first record since deciding to shop exclusively at Lane Bryant. And the impact of pre-release blogosphere hype will be tested with the release of Born To Die, the first album to come out of Lana Del Rey since her Taylor Armstrong-esque makeover and signing to a major label.
Below, check out my list of top 16 most anticipated releases coming in the new year and let us know in the comments section below whose upcoming albums you’re most looking forward to in 2012.

16. The Shins, Port of Morrow

In March, The Shins will release Port of Morrow, their first studio album since 2007’s Wincing The Night Away. The record, produced by industry superstar Greg Kurstin, also serves as the band’s first major label release. Frontman James Mercer (who last year released the eponymous debut album of his side project, Broken Bells) and the rest of the band plan to announce a supporting tour in the coming weeks.

15. Madonna, LUV

Already confirmed to perform at the Super Bowl, Madonna will also be releasing Luv, her twelfth studio album and first on Interscope Records. Confirmed tracks include the lead single, “Gimme All Your Lovin’” (feat. Nicki Minaj & M.I.A.), the Martin Solveig-produced “Turn Up The Radio,” and “Masterpiece,” the Golden Globe-nominated theme from her upcoming film, W.E.. Look for the album in stores this March.

14. Rufus Wainwright, Out of the Game

Produced by hitmaker Mark Ronson (Lily Allen/Amy Winehouse), Out of the Game is Rufus Wainwright’s seventh studio album. And it seems as though the Canadian singer/songwriter will be experimenting with a more radio-friendly sound. “The main objective … is to be danceable,” Wainwright revealed to Rolling Stone about the May release. “I just want to make something that you love, driving around in your car listening or losing your mind to on a dance floor.”

13. Phoenix, Title TBD

Following the incredible success of their 2009 album, Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix (which picked up the Grammy Award for Best Alternative Music Album), French rockers Phoenix will be returning to the music scene in 2012. “It’s very … nostalgic, futuristic. It’s very experimental,” band member Thomas Mars told MTV about their upcoming record.

12. Passion Pit, Title TBD

With their debut album, 2009’s Manners, Passion Pit blended electro pop and indie rock together in an unprecedented way. Their eagerly anticipated sophomore release promises to continue evolving their signature sound while simultaneously continuing to blur the boundaries between genres to create what promises to be another unique and convention-defying record.

11. Sara Bareilles, Title TBD

It’s no surprise that for her upcoming EP, Sara Bareilles is collaborating with the prolific Ben Folds. Not only do the two of them share a love of the keyboard but they also recently became co-judges on reality TV competition The Sing-Off (which Bareilles joined this past season). With Folds serving as the producer, Bareilles’ upcoming EP is sure to be the perfect melding of flawless vocals, songwriting and piano-infused pop hooks.

10. American Royalty, Title TBD

With El Ardemo, Los Angeles trio American Royalty came out with one of the most refreshingly original and grittiest music releases of 2010. Mixing the raw and bluesy aesthetics of Mumford & Sons with the pulsing and thrashing electronic beats of Skrillex, the EP was one of the most solid debuts in recent memory. In 2012, the band will be releasing their premiere full-length album and if it consists of tracks even half as brilliant as “Sun Day” or “Lately,” then American Royalty is a name you’ll certainly be hearing a lot more of in the coming months.

9. Various Artists, G.O.O.D. Music: The Album

Announced by Kanye West via Twitter this fall, G.O.O.D. Music: The Album is the first compilation record to come from the rapper’s self-founded record label and management firm. While specific details have yet to emerge, expect new tracks (and inevitable collaborations) from the label’s artists including Kid Cudi, Mr. Hudson, John Legend, Mos Def, Common, and of course, Kanye himself, to set the tone for the hip hop world in 2012.

8. Ben Folds Five, Title TBD

Ben Folds Five had so much fun recording new tracks for Ben Folds’ 2011 career retrospective, The Best Imitation of Myself (which I reviewed here), that the band decided to stay in the studio and churn out a full, brand new album. Based on the versatile sounds of the three songs they recorded for the retrospective (“House,” “Tell Me What I Did” and “Stumblin’ Home Winter Blues”), Ben Folds Five will be sticking true to form by releasing a collection of catchy Lite FM-ready songs that merge scattered musical influences with the band’s classic ironic tonic.

7. Mouth’s Cradle, Title TBD

To put it simply, there’s no other band that sounds like Mouth’s Cradle. They’re part indie rock, hip hop, trip hop, electro pop, folk and Nintendo theme music. In 2010, the Pennsylvania duo released their debut album, The Next Big Thing and followed it up with the mixtape, Mouth’s Cradle vs. The Hype. In 2012, expect more slick rhymes and sophisticatingly original beats from this yet-to-be-discovered goldmine with the release of a brand new mixtape.

6. Freelance Whales, Title TBD

Upon its release in 2010, Freelance Whales’ debut album, Weathervanes, immediately drew comparisons to The Postal Service’s Give Up (which many critics and fans alike cite as one of the most brilliant and influential albums to be released since 2000). “It’s the best electronic indie-pop debut since Ben Gibbard last tuned his laptop,” Entertainment Weekly wrote of the record. In 2012, the band (which features Glee heartthrob Darren Criss’ older brother) plan to challenge The Postal Service’s legacy by releasing a follow-up album. Will all the hype help the band strike lightning twice or will it be the catalyst for a sophomore slump? Either way, I’m making sure the “pre-order” option on my iTunes is ready to go.

5. The Veronicas, Title TBD

This past fall, Australian twin sisters The Veronicas performed new tracks from their upcoming third album at two separate showcases in Los Angeles. Songs like “Cold” and “Let Me Out” had fans fiending for new material from the duo, whose last album, Hook Me Up, was released in 2007. The record will feature production by various industry VIPs including Nellee Hooper (No Doubt/Gwen Stefani/Madonna), Fernando Garibay (Lady GaGa) and The Smashing Pumpkins’ Billy Corgan (who Jess of The Veronicas also happens to be dating). On their website, the girls provided their fans with an update by saying that the album will be “citing influences from The Subways, The Dead Weather, Mazzy Star, Ladytron and Peaches.” With a single release date rumored to be on the horizon, it’ll only be a short matter of time before The Veronicas’ global pop domination commences.

4. Jukebox The Ghost, Title TBD

“He’s been doing a killer job and we had a great batch of songs to pick from, so I really think this is going to be my favorite record we’ve made,” Jukebox The Ghost’s Tommy Siegel told me about producer Dan Romer’s work on the band’s upcoming third album. “I really couldn’t be more excited about this one.” And neither could i. The pop/rock trio’s new record is set to be released in late spring following their tour with Jack’s Mannequin.

3. Ingrid Michaelson, Human Again

It’s been two and a half years since Ingrid Michaelson’s last album, Everybody, was released. Hitting stores this January is the long awaited follow-up, Human Again. So far, we’ve heard two songs from the record: “Ghost” and “Blood Brothers.” These tracks act as indicators that the album will be a versatile range of acoustic singer/songwriter folk and rugged pop/rock. Bring it on, Ingrid.

2. Two Door Cinema Club, Title TBD

Although released in 2010, Two Door Cinema Club’s debut album, Tourist History, remained one of my top played albums of 2011. Their sleek blend of indie pop is infused with equal parts electronica and classic rock. From start to finish, Tourist History is a masterpiece – making its predecessor one of the most hotly anticipated records of the year.

1. Local Natives, Title TBD

Local Natives’ Gorilla Manor remains one of my top 5 albums of the millennium so far. Their majestic harmonies alone serve as prime examples of how the band is creating some of the most intelligent music this side of indie rock. With their long awaited sophomore album, Local Natives promise to deliver more grand tunes of sunshine and asphalt infused pop/rock that will be sure to once again leave their listeners completely breathless.

Originally published on PopBytes

And a very special thank you to USA Today's Pop Candy blog, Ben Folds, The Veronicas, Rufus Wainwright, Mouth's Cradle and Yep Roc Records for linking to this article!

THE NECESSITY OF LISBETH SALANDER

2011-12-26T21:17:00.000-08:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

Lisbeth Salander has multiple piercings across her face. Her eyebrows are bleached and her skin is whiter than Ramona Singer’s attempts at belly dancing. Like the majority of her wardrobe, her hair is jet black. It’s purposefully jagged and sharply frames her thin face. The makeup that circles her eyes is dark enough to make Taylor Momsen and Johnny Depp cry Lauren Conrad-esque mascara tears of jealousy. She wears ripped t-shirts that read “Fuck you, you fucking fuck” (a quote from David Lynch‘s 1986 classic Blue Velvet) and she literally kicks ass with the lace-up combat boots she tucks her baggy cargo pants into. She travels by motorcycle and, despite her gaunt figure, lives off a diet consisting primarily of McDonald’s Happy Meals. Her body is a canvas that she tattoos as a physical manifestation of the incredible amounts of pain she’s experienced. She is the girl with the dragon tattoo.

So how did such a seemingly anti-mainstream punk chick steal the interests and hearts of millions of readers and film audiences across the globe?

It’s quite simple, really. Because Lisbeth is not the ingénue of the stories she stars in. She’s the hero. The hero who is so ruthless in her actions that she makes a femme fatale like Lara Croft look more like the damsel-in-distress Princess Zelda.

In the American adaptation of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, which hit theaters last week (there was a Swedish version back in 2009), Lisbeth (Rooney Mara) is an expert cyber-hacker who finds herself assisting Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig), an investigative reporter hired as a personal detective by an elderly man (Christopher Plummer) looking to discover the truth behind his grand niece’s disappearance forty years earlier.

With this film, director David Fincher has crafted a piece of art that will play a central role in the continuing evolution of Hollywood’s portrayals of women. At the core of this movie’s significance is the character of Lisbeth, who propels The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo to the forefront of feminist cinema. After all, this is a woman whose SIDEKICK is literally James Bond.

Much like a honey badger, Lisbeth is fearless. When she is brutally raped by her state appointed guardian, she has no problem tazering him, shoving a metal dildo in his ass and tattooing “I’m a rapist pig” on his chest. When she thinks she’s found a serial killer, she doesn’t blink twice before entering his home. In fact, she doesn’t even come armed and instead relies on finding a random object in his house to protect herself with. And when she wants to take down one of Sweden’s most powerful and corrupt businessmen, she has no trepidations about putting on a Lady Gaga-esque wig for the cameras while she drains all of his bank accounts.

In the bedroom, Lisbeth does not limit herself to the parameters set by a particular label. Instead, she makes emotional connections with people regardless of their sex. In one scene, she wakes up naked next to a woman named Miriam (who fans of the books know plays a much larger part in the next two installments of the story). In another, she strips for Blomkvist and proposes that they sleep together. And what middle-aged single, heterosexual man would turn down a sexy and dangerous 23-year-old woman already half way done unbuttoning his pants? Exactly. And obviously, Lisbeth is always on top.

Part of what makes Lisbeth so captivating is that she refuses to be a victim. When someone wrongs her, she doesn’t sulk. She takes matters into her own hands and regains the power that was stolen from her in the moments when she was wronged. For instance, she could have easily reported her guardian for raping her. But instead, the prey becomes the predator as Lisbeth exacts a degree of revenge and punishment that no amount of time behind bars could. Her actions ensure that not only will her guardian never rape someone again, but also that he’ll be forced to live for the rest of his life with a constant reminder of how disgusting a person he is.

It’s women like Lisbeth that Hollywood needs more of. Women who refuse to be subservient and are unafraid to be completely self-sufficient. Too often, movies employ Sex and the City-like clones that “just want to find Mr. Right.” And sadly, many of the films that pride themselves on their “progressive feminist stance” in fact still adhere to patriarchal values.

In 2010, the movie Salt was released and was marketed as a female counterpart to The Bourne Identity. Originally written as a starring vehicle for Tom Cruise, it was ultimately Angelina Jolie who stepped into the lead role. But as Scott Mendelson of Salon.com pointed out, an Entertainment Weekly article by Chris Nashawaty about the film’s alleged “pro-feminism” actually confirmed how flawed it really was.

“‘In the original script, there was a huge sequence where Edwin Salt (the original male protagonist) saves his wife, who’s in danger,’ says Noyce. ‘And what we found in the new script, it seemed to castrate his character a little. So we had to change the nature of that relationship.’ In the end, Salt’s husband, played by German actor August Diehl (Inglourious Basterds), was made tough enough that he didn’t need saving, thank you much,” the article read.

In other words, if Tom Cruise is playing the main character, it’s okay for him to save his helpless wife. But if Angelina Jolie is playing that same character, the spouse no longer needs saving due to a fear of emasculation. Oh.

It’s comments like these that make it easy to picture industry people like Noyce and Nashawaty lighting up cigars with the boys as they congratulate themselves on their “liberalism.” It’s also comments like these that really hit home the idea that the art we subject ourselves to is still skewed towards preserving the idea that men are on a higher level than women.

Thus, films like The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo are far more necessary than one may even initially realize. We’re in dire need of female characters like Lisbeth Salander who are defined by their actions and not by their genitalia.

When the novel was first published in Sweden, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo had a different title – one that translates to Men Who Hate Women. While it’s actually quite infuriating that author Stieg Larsson’s original title wasn’t kept for the English translation (most likely due to a fear of a lack of commercial appeal), the film remains a powerful tale about that theme—and, of course, about the woman who retaliates against the men who hate women.

The success of the franchise proves that audiences want to read about and see women like Lisbeth. In fact, she’s become such a cultural icon that people are even willing to physically emulate her by purchasing the Lisbeth-inspired collection at H&M (which – as a side note – I find hysterical and completely ironic because the idea of a fashion line designed after her is something that Lisbeth would absolutely detest).

But the point is that The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is a story that is exposing a huge void in our pop culture psyche. And audiences are beginning to take notice.

Lisbeth Salander, I salute you.

Originally published on PopBytes

INGRID MICHAELSON'S 2011 HOLIDAY HOP!

2011-12-20T14:35:00.000-08:00

A review of Ingrid Michaelson's annual New York holiday concert
by ALEX NAGORSKI

“I want to kill you in the backyard and bury you in snow,” Ingrid Michaelson sang over an upbeat piano freestyle on stage. “This is a holiday song, right?” she asked the audience at her fifth annual Christmas concert (or as she calls it, the “holiday hop”) in New York City last weekend. “It’s got the word ‘snow’ it is so … there you go! That’s all you need!” she rationalized.

“I like to think all these horrible songs are going to be on Grey’s Anatomy or something,” she continued when the freestyle was over, teasing the television show whose soundtrack has unofficially dubbed her its go-to featured musician.

The fact that she is featured on shows like Grey’s, however, has given Ingrid a visibility that many singer/songwriters can only dream of. Her music has been used to accompany various mediums – whether film, TV dramas, reality shows or commercials – and her star doesn’t seem to be dimming at all. Last year, she was even invited to perform her holiday duet with Sara Bareilles, “Winter Song,” at the White House’s National Christmas Tree lighting. Not bad for a ukulele-strumming girl from Staten Island, right?

Opening the Holiday Hop this year was … well, Ingrid Michaelson. Concealing her natural long and voluptuous auburn hair under a short silver wig, she came on stage with her equally disguised band and backup singers as part of an Italian Staten Island caroling choir. Together, they sang holiday standards with lyrics made over to be about food and gave holiday twists to some 2011 chart-toppers (i.e. the Maroon 5/Christina Aguilera parody, “Moves Like Santa”).

That’s one thing you can always expect from an Ingrid Michaelson concert: unabashed humor. For a lyricist whose songs are often rather melancholy in tone, Ingrid without fail manages to inject each of her shows with a degree of humor that few musicians are capable of doing – making her one of the most pleasurable, memorable and relatable artists to see live.

“We just got engaged at your show!” a couple screamed to the chanteuse from the back of the Music Hall of Williamsburg after the audience had just surprised Ingrid by singing her “Happy Birthday.”

“That’s great but I think we were talking about ME,” she joked back before congratulating them. “Anyone else have any big announcements while we’re at it? Next someone is going to be like ‘Oh, we left for a little because “The Chain” is boring and we had sex in the bathroom and now I’m pregnant.’”

On January 24th, Ingrid will be releasing her highly anticipated fourth album, Human Again. At the show, she gave fans a sneak peek by performing two tracks off of it: the gorgeous and haunting lead single, “Ghost,” and the catchy song that she debuted while performing at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade this year, “Blood Brothers.”

If these songs are any indication of what Human Again will sound like, Ingrid may be following in the footsteps of friend Sara Bareilles and should prepare to be the Billboard chart’s favorite new “indie” girl. After all, her last album (2009’s Everybody) debuted at #18 on the U.S. charts – a testament to the power of her fans (especially considering that she hasn’t had a mainstream crossover radio hit – yet).

“You guys just screamed like Justin Bieber fans!” Ingrid laughed to the crowd, which was literally roaring with delight upon hearing the opening notes to her song, “Parachute.” She has such die-hard fans, in fact, that this year’s Holiday Hop sold out entirely from an exclusive presale provided to people on Ingrid’s virtual mailing list. Plans to release the tickets a few days later to the general public had to be scrapped because there were none left.

Embracing the quirky and festive nature of the evening, Ingrid alternated her set list between tracks from her previous releases and covers of songs that define the holiday season for her. In between fan-favorites like “You And I,” “Maybe,” “The Way I Am” and “Soldier,” she played “Sally’s Song” from The Nightmare Before Christmas and an upbeat rock medley of holiday tunes like “White Christmas,” “Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer,” “The Dreidl Song” and “Jingle Bells.” She closed with a traditional hymn, “In The Bleak Mid-Winter” – which also happened to be written by Ingrid’s father and was performed as a surprise early Christmas gift to him (awww).

Then of course there was her cover of “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas,” the song she sings every year before leaving the stage prior to her encore. Originated by Judy Garland in the film Meet Me In St. Louis, Ingrid has always called the song her favorite. “I have such a love for her,” Ingrid said to me of Garland when I interviewed her a couple of years back. Her cover of the song was just released for purchase on iTunes last week and as part of an exclusive digital holiday EP in her official web store.

For the last five years, I’ve attended each Holiday Hop that Ingrid has put on. There’s just something about seeing one of your favorite musicians decked out in green and red (and glittery golden stilettos that her “podiatrist would not be happy about”), tossing Christmas candy from the keys of her piano to her audience. It’s something that has become a quintessential part of my celebration of the holidays each year.

When I left the venue, I immediately craved hot apple cider. I wanted to watch Elf and write holiday cards and wrap gifts. I wanted to go ice-skating, take a stroll through the Union Square holiday market and go check out the window displays at Saks Fifth Avenue and the Rockefeller Christmas tree. I was so annoyingly festive that even I wanted to murder me in the backyard and bury me in snow.

So as it is every year, Ingrid Michaelson’s Holiday Hop was not just a terrific concert to attend. It was also the best possible way I could think of to kick off this holiday season. See you at the Holiday Hop in 2012!

“Human Again” is available for pre-order on iTunes and from Ingrid’s official web store now.

Originally published on PopBytes

CARNAGE (Film Review)

2011-12-12T04:44:00.000-08:00

"Carnage" Goes For The Jugular … And The Funny Bone
by ALEX NAGORSKI

Adapting theater to cinema is never an easy task.

With theater, there’s a degree of intimacy that film lacks. When the actors hit the stage, they don’t get to have multiple takes of a scene. When a scene is over, it’s really done. If they flub a line or trip over a prop, there is no re-shoot option. And the audience gets to experience the story simultaneously with the actors.

Film allows for a different type of intimacy – one that is often difficult for theater to provide. By placing cameras where theaters would have its audience, movies give their actors a free pass to act more naturally. They’re able to utilize their bodies more, trusting that the camera will pick up every little character tick or subtle facial expression. Their actions don’t need to be big enough to make sure someone in the last row of an amphitheater can see what they’re doing.

That’s why the transition from stage to screen is not a simple one. The source material needs to be modified to accommodate a medium that has very different strengths and requirements.

Based on Yasmina Reza‘s Tony Award-winning play God Of Carnage, director Roman Polanski’s new film Carnage is the latest Hollywood adaptation of a story that made its debut behind a Broadway curtain. And it’s the first one that I’ve seen that’s managed to integrate the fundamental qualities that make these two forms of art so individually captivating.

With an all-star cast that boasts three Academy Award-winners and one nominee, Carnage tells the story of two couples who meet to discuss a schoolyard spat between their sons. Set entirely in a Brooklyn apartment (although filmed in Paris due to Polanski’s … “issues”), the movie traces as the couples begin to argue and progressively unleash their inner beasts, resulting in a riot-filled and wildly entertaining dark comedy.

When the film opens, we are invited into the home of Michael and Penelope Longstreet (fantastic turns by both John C. Reilly and Jodie Foster). There, they are writing up a summary of their allegations against the child of Alan and Nancy Cowan (played unsurprisingly without flaw by Christoph Waltz and Kate Winslet). Allegedly, Zachary Cowan struck Ethan Longstreet in the face with a stick, temporarily “disfiguring him,” as Penelope likes to point out.

Each character is a completely exaggerated version of the “real life” counterpart they’re meant to represent, establishing the grounds for the ensuing absurdity in this masterful farce.

Penelope is the frigid, politically correct control-freak who you can tell forces her kids to stay at the dinner table until they’ve finished their brussel sprouts. Michael is the epitome of “Joe The Plumber.” He’s a decent, simple-minded man with a blue collar job, conservative views and his wife’s leash around his neck. Alan, on the other hand, is the businessman who can’t part ways with his Blackberry or designer suit. And Nancy is the passive one who’d rather smile and stay calm in the face of conflict than let it disrupt her daily routine.

Predictably, when four strangers with such diverging personalities come together to attempt to solve a problem, the tensions are immediately palpable. And as these tensions inch closer and closer to the surface, the characters begin to unravel and revert to their primal instincts.

To help convey this devolution, Polanski uses the metaphor of the fighting children to represent the chaos that occurs in the film. Upon first hearing the story of Zachary hitting Ethan, most people’s gut reaction is to assume that Zachary is the villain. Yet what prompted Zachary to behave this way? To what extent was he bullied that he felt it necessary to retaliate so brutally?

While the film does not provide a definitive answer to this (although we do learn that Ethan wouldn’t let Zachary be part of his “gang”), it certainly raises questions about what constitutes justified self-defense. To what limits can we be pushed until we start to fight back and protect ourselves? Our families? And to what degree can we expect those we love to side with us?

If you assume that the allegiances formed in Carnage put the Longstreets and Cowans in opposite ends of the rink, you’d be gravely mistaken. While the movie starts out that way, the bonds that hold the teams together begin to crumble until the brawl becomes an “every man for himself” power struggle. But not before there’s a dividing line drawn between the men and women when Penelope cheers on as Nancy drops Alan’s constantly ringing cell phone into a water-filled flower vase.

“Why don’t you ever stick up for me?” Nancy complains to Alan as she pours herself yet another glass of liquor – despite having previously projectile-vomited all over the Longstreets’ living room, the result of a combination of unsettled nerves and bad apple cobbler. A few drinks in and suddenly Nancy really feels completely exposed and abandoned.

When Penelope accuses Nancy of this transformation being a result of how “fake” she is, Nancy has no buttons left to push. “I am glad our son kicked the shit out of your son and I wipe my ass with your human rights!” she drunkenly shouts back at her condescending attacker.

Aside from its impeccable dark humor, what makes Carnage such a treat is that it really is the perfect marriage of Broadway and Hollywood. By having the screenplay remain faithful to the stage version and setting the whole film in one apartment, that level of intimacy you feel watching stories unfold in the theater is almost replicated for the movie-going audience.

Additionally, the film is shot in real time. Meaning that each of the film’s 79 minutes is accounted for as a minute of the conversation had between the four individuals, a rare tactic used in film-making. This also means no blackouts or fancy editing to guide the transition between scenes. And to maintain that feeling of intimacy, Polanski had the actors rehearse for two weeks prior to shooting. Another theater-standard not often adhered to in the film world.

“Some directors don’t like rehearsal,” Winslet explained in a recent interview with The Wall Street Journal about the movie. “I don’t ordinarily like pre-planning things or blocking things. But sometimes things can really be revealed to you as an actor about your character that come out of an idea or a question that another actor has, and that’s fun. I would happily rehearse for three days and never stand up out of a chair, just to be in a room with everybody.”

Carnage is a film that delves into the psyches of four distinctly different people when placed in a situation that causes them to remove the masks that guide them through their daily lives. It’s a movie that shows that if provoked enough, the social etiquette we’re expected to follow as adults becomes irrelevant and we’re all capable of being savages.

As a result, the crimes committed among the four lead players are not only on par with the actions of their children, but on par with those of any animal attempting to survive in the wild. It’s just that in this case, the wild is Brooklyn and the animals we need to defeat are our fellow human beings.

Carnage opens in theaters on December 16th.

Originally published on PopBytes

'IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA: HIGH SCHOOL REUNION, PART 1

2011-12-09T15:06:00.000-08:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

If you’ve never seen it, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia follows the absurd and morally devoid adventures of a gang of five friends (played by Rob McElhenney, Glenn Howerton, Kaitlin Olson, Charlie Day and Prince Charming himself, Danny Devito) who own and work at a bar called Paddy’s Pub in Philly. And if you’ve never seen it, you should probably increase your therapy visits so you can figure out why you hate yourself so damn much.

Now in its seventh glorious season, Sunny is without a doubt the smartest and funniest show on television. And I don’t just mean out of shows currently on. Sunny is honestly the most well-written and brilliant show to ever grace sitcom history. Think that’s a bold claim? I challenge you to watch any two episodes. You’ll be struggling to find reasons to disagree.

With every episode of the show, the characters push the boundaries of their personalities to new extremes. Frank is always becoming increasingly more disgusting. Dennis becomes a little more obsessed with himself. Mac gets more desperate to prove his masculinity. Charlie transforms more into white trash and Dee tries harder to … well, matter.

On last night’s episode, "High School Reunion," the gang revisits their high school days, each with a different personal mission to accomplish. For instance, Charlie’s is (surprise surprise!) to win over the waitress. Then there’s Frank, decades older than the rest of them, who just wants to get into the reunion so he can have friends to hang out with.

The MVP Award of the episode, however, belongs to Dee. Free of the back brace that was once the catalyst of her relentless torture, Dee shows up to the reunion determined to seek vengeance on the “popular” kids. All of the jerks who made her teenage years a living hell by calling her “the aluminum monster.”

To do so, she decides to pull a Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls and pretend to make friends with them. She plans to gain their trust and seize the perfect moment to inflict the same degree of cruelty onto them that they bestowed onto her years earlier. But when she’s finally not rejected by (another) band of immature assholes, can she have the strength to forfeit being accepted for momentary payback?

While we’ll have to wait until part two of the episode (next week’s season finale) to find out the result, we witness in the meantime what happens when Dee gets to sit on the throne. “As far as I remember, all you really gotta do to get in with that crowd is be really cruel to people,” she says to Charlie. And cruel she becomes.

To gain cred with the “cool kids,” Dee begins throwing the rest of the gang under the bus. With the (epic) reveal of Mac’s full name being Ronald McDonald, Dee has a field day teasing him for his days as “Ronnie the Rat,” a nickname he acquired when he snitched on all the other drug dealers in the school.

In case that was too much information to sink in at once, let me spell it out again slowly. Mac’s real name is Ronald McDonald. In high school, he was a drug dealer who gained the nickname “Ronnie The Rat” after being a tattle-tail. Do you see what I mean about the show always managing to push itself to the next level?

Dee quickly realizes that amongst her new “friends,” homophobic jokes are particularly effective. “That’s what these gay guys do,” she laughs to her new buds Adriano and Brad when they find Mac and Frank standing above Charlie’s passed out body (from inhaling too much of his ammonia/bleach concoction) in the bathroom. “They just knock each other out with poppers and then find some kind of rabies infested rodent to tickle each other’s taints with.” The three of them then give Mac, Frank and Charlie wedgies. Naturally.

And then there’s Dennis. Anyone who watches Sunny can tell that Dennis is that type of douche who peaked in high school; so last night’s episode was a hilarious confirmation of what audience members have been thinking for seven seasons.

In the beginning of the episode, Dennis talks about revisiting the mid-90s when he was a “golden god.” He sits alone at a table expecting for people to flock to him. Or as he calls it, “to kiss my ring.” Yet when nobody approaches him except for the waitress (who has again fallen off the wagon), his ex-wife, Maureen Ponderosa (or as she is fondly referred to by the gang, “Dead Tooth”) and Frank (who managed to sneak past the security guard and steal the waitress' nametag), he realizes that his stock has plummeted and becomes desperate for attention.

These cameos from Dennis’ past are part of what makes “High School Reunion” such a fantastic episode. Particularly the appearance of Rickety Cricket, who we’ve watched give up his priesthood to be with Dee (who was faking interest to get him to do the gang a favor) and ultimately evolve into a homeless, ringworm covered crack head that Mac and Dennis teabag on a regular basis. In last night’s episode, he fakes joining the clergy again so he can “bless” everyone at the reunion by shaking their hands, only to really be pick-pocketing them.

Speaking of reoccurring characters, the inclusion of the waitress in this episode is another example of comedy gold struck by writers Howerton and McElehenny. As it was with Mac, the waitress’ real name had never been revealed on the show prior to last night. Mandated to wear nametags at the reunion, the waitress goes looking for hers only to discover that hers is missing (goddamnit Frank!). This leads her to believe that she was so irrelevant in high school that people forgot she existed. Genius.

The chaos that ensues in “High School Reunion” is just another example of how It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia explores territory and makes fun of things that no other shows (except maybe the animated South Park) have the nerve to even consider touching.

So like I do every week, I just want to extend a big “thank you” to the cast and crew of It’s Always Sunny in Philadephia for making a show actually worth my cable bill.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia airs on FX on Thursday at 10 PM (EST).

Originally published on PopBytes

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT WAS AN AMAZING SONG? KATE WINSLET'S "WHAT IF"

2011-12-06T20:16:00.000-08:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

CAUTION: Things are about to become very personal in here. In fact, if you have my phone number, you’ll probably delete it from your contacts list after reading this. Consider yourself warned.

For my fifteenth birthday, my mother bought me a karaoke machine. It was that kind that played any song by lowering the existing vocals and amplifying the instrumentals. You know. As karaoke machines do.

Naturally, I decided to use this opportunity to become the next Daniel Bedingfield (I’ve always been a dreamer) and record a home demo. On cassette tape. Using the golden microphone that came in a separate plastic sleeve in the box of the machine.

The four-song tracklisting of my debut covers (and concept) album, Haunting But True, consisted of an array of game-changing hits. These included Ashlee Simpson’s "Harder Everyday", Lisa Loeb’s "Stay (I Missed You)", Red Hot Chili Peppers’ "Otherside" and Kate Winslet’s "What If". To this day, I blame the postal service for losing my contract offer from Jive Records.

Now if the last song on that list seemed weird to you, then you should probably just go bake yourself a pie full of rat poison because you obviously know nothing about music.

Released in 2001, Grammy Award winning (for Best Spoken Word Album for Children in 2000) actress Kate Winslet recorded "What If" as the lead single to the soundtrack for the animated British film Christmas Carol: The Movie. And since you asked, it was indeed included on the 50th edition of NOW! That’s What I Call Music! in the UK alongside other seminal classics like Emma Bunton’s "Take My Breath Away" and Westlife’s cover of Billy Joel’s "Uptown Girl."

You may have noticed that in pretty much all of her movies, Kate takes off her bra. However, many of her films (even if briefly) showcase her singing voice just as much as they do her Oprah-approved breasts. Watch them again and you’ll see that movies like Sense and Sensibility, Titanic and Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind all feature Kate singing at some point or another. And let us of course not forget the cinematic achievement that was Romance And Cigarettes, the musical that co-starred Christopher Walken, James Gandolfini, Susan Sarandon, Steve Buscemi, Amy Sedaris, Mary Louise-Parker, Eddie Izzard and screen legend Mandy Moore.

But I digress.

"What If" is a beautiful ballad concocted from a recipe that calls for equal parts sorrow, nostalgia and regret.

“What if I had never let you go? Would you be the man I used to know? If I’d stayed, if you’d tried, if we could only turn back time,” Winslet gorgeously croons in her luscious mezzo-soprano voice. “But I guess we’ll never know.” Haunting but true.

While "What If" didn’t have much of an impact on American charts (#OccupyBillboard), the song did significantly well overseas. In the UK, it debuted at #6 and went on to top the charts in Austria, Belgium and Ireland (for four weeks in a row!). It also placed in the top 10 in countries like Germany, Switzerland and Holland, causing the song to peak at #3 on the overall European singles chart and win the 2002 OGAE Song Contest.

And just because it’s been a full decade since the song’s release doesn’t mean that it’s still not slaying your favorites today. Last year, it re-entered the UK singles chart following a performance of it on the TV show, The X Factor. It’s also been covered by club musician Ronny V and X Factor finalist Rhydian Roberts, who included it on his debut album as a duet with Broadway and Glee actress Idina Menzel.

The fact that Winslet teased us by releasing a single but never an album is really the single flaw that she has. When I first heard "What If", my mouth was salivating at the idea of a full record. And no, I didn’t create album covers in Microsoft Paint and post them to fan-forums online. And no, I didn’t use Dear Kate as the tentative album title. How dare you even ask me that?

And yet, Winslet has always been full of surprises. Whether it be donating all proceeds from "What If" to a charity for children with cancer or that time she rolled me a cigarette when we were hiding from the rain under an awning in the West Village, she’s never been one that can be called predictable. So is there any hope that she’ll release that album one day?

I’ll never let go, Kate. I’ll never let go.

Originally published on PopBytes

THE ARTIST (Film Review)

2011-12-05T04:48:00.000-08:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

I’m going to be honest with you.

When I first saw the trailer for The Artist, I didn’t think it was a movie I’d want to pay to see. The concept of an entirely silent movie about the death of silent movies seemed a little too pretentiously cute for me, all the way to its title. “How very meta. We get it,” I thought to myself as I dismissed it from my “must-see” list. “This is obviously just trying to be different for the sake of being ‘artsy’ and drumming up awards-season hype.”

I remember reading an article prior to the film’s release that praised it for its originality due to its removal of dialogue. It discussed the challenges the movie presents for its actors by forcing them to understand and communicate with one another without having lines to memorize.

I was annoyed at the article because it made it seem like nobody has ever had the idea to write a script that placed an emphasis on the communicative tensions created between people when they don’t have the assistance of language. Obviously this journalist had never seen Love Actually, The Little Mermaid or the Buffy The Vampire Slayer episode, “Hush,” to cite just a few examples where this idea had been explored on screen before. In my mind, The Artist was just another entry on an already long-running list.

But damn was I wrong.

The Artist doesn’t only challenge its actors. Part of what makes it so brilliant is the degree to which it challenges its audience. Can we as moviegoers, who are used to constant explosions of color and sound, sit through–let alone enjoy–a 100-minute black and white movie sans the cushions of our expected storytelling tools? After all, our basis for comparison has evolved quite a bit since the time of silent cinema. Mainly in that we now have one.

The answer is “Yes we can.” Just like Obama called it.

The Artist follows the story of the sinking career and life of George Valentin (a captivating Jean Dujardin), a megastar in the silent movie business whose star loses all its shine with the injection of sound into film. Starring in these “talkies,” as they are dubbed, is Peppy Miller (an engrossing Bérénice Bejo), an up-and-coming actress who gets her start as a dancer on the set of one of Valentin’s films.

Like a cause-and-effect reaction, Peppy’s name inches closer to the headlining marquee spot while George’s slips off the credits of anything Hollywood is churning out. Especially after the stock market crashes in 1929 and production on all silent films meets its abrupt end. So how do these two physical embodiments of the “old” vs. the “new” feel about one another? Romantically invested, of course.

Combining equal parts comedy, drama and romance, The Artist packs in a storyline so solid that the audience forgets that they usually rely on alternative methods of storytelling to remain engrossed. It’s a film that intrigues you with its novelty, hooks you with its honesty and turns unforgettable with its majesty.

Accompanied by Michel Hazanavicius’ masterful direction and Ludovic Bource’s beautiful score, The Artist is not just a uniquely crafted commentary on the anxieties that loom with the emergence of new technology. Sculpted from a nostalgic lens, it’s a gorgeous and intricately layered homage to cinema. I’d try to describe for you the feeling of warmth seeing this movie produced in me, but alas, I have no words.

The Artist is playing in select theaters now.

Originally published on PopBytes

INTERVIEW: JUKEBOX THE GHOST

2011-11-30T14:40:00.000-08:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

Attention New Yorkers! I know you all have very busy weekends ahead of you crying over not winning the Book of Mormon lotto or waiting in line to check out Lady GaGa’s self-indulgent “workshop” at Barney’s. But if you’re in the mood to do something different, how about grabbing some beers, going bowling and checking out some awesome live music? And yes, I do mean all at the same time.

This Friday, Philadelphia-bred indie pop/rock trio Jukebox The Ghost will be playing the legendary Brooklyn Bowl as part of their current headlining tour.

Following their debut record in 2008, Let Live And Let Ghosts (which was recorded in only nine days!), Jukebox The Ghost released their critically acclaimed sophomore album, Everything Under The Sun, last fall. The record’s release spawned an appearance on The Late Show With David Letterman and found the band touring with acts such as Guster and Barenaked Ladies.

In anticipation of Friday’s show, I chatted with guitarist and vocalist Tommy Siegel, who told me all about Jukebox’s creative process, shared some fond touring memories and spilled some details about their highly-anticipated upcoming third album.

ALEX: I read that you originally called yourselves The Sunday Mail but then decided to change the band’s name to Jukebox The Ghost. Can you tell me a little bit about where the name Jukebox The Ghost comes from and what it signifies to you?

TOMMY: Honestly, ‘Jukebox the Ghost’ was just a combination of words we thought would make a good band name. I wanted ‘Jukebox’, Ben wanted ‘Ghost’, and Jesse wanted us to be a ‘the’ band a la ‘The Smiths’ or ‘The Cure’. We put the words together, and voila. We’ve made a habit out of putting darker lyrical material into light-hearted-sounding pop songs, so I like to think that we’re somehow Jukebox-ing the Ghost. If that makes sense. ’Jukebox’ also could just be the name of that ghost drawing on everything we do.

Your music is such a distinct blend of indie pop and piano rock. I’d even argue that there are some significant classical influences in there. Given that your sound doesn’t fit the label of one specific genre, how would you best describe it?

The classical influence you’re hearing is very real on Ben’s part. He was a music major in college, and a serious classical player long before that. As far as our overall genre name … asking someone in a band to describe their genre is sorta like asking a person to sum their life up in a word or two. That being said … Pop-rock? Indie-pop? Pop-pop? Pop-rock-pop?

Pop-rock-pop definitely wins. Being a trio, how do you divide songwriting duties? Do you all sit together and try to write as a unit or do you find you work better writing individually and then bringing songs to the rest of the group?

We generally write songs independently and then bring them to the band to get arranged. Sometimes a song will arrive for rehearsal completely finished in the head of the person who wrote it, and sometimes it’ll be totally primordial.

With song titles like “Summer Sun,” “The Sun,” “The Sun (Interlude)” and “The Stars”, there’s an obvious reoccurring theme on Everything Under The Sun. Would you say there’s a specific narrative you’re trying to employ to string all of your music together (like a concept album)?

Just a happy accident, to be honest. ”The Sun/The Sun Interlude/The Stars” was a long piece I was working on (we ended it up splitting it on the album) and Ben happened to have a song called “Summer Sun” around the same time. We’re big album-structure geeks, so we put a lot of effort into making a tracklist feel like a narrative.

Everything Under The Sun had a significantly more synth-enhanced and polished feel than Let Live and Let Ghosts did. In what direction do you feel your sound has been evolving since this record’s release?

It’s difficult to pinpoint what defines our current state of evolution because our band’s music has always been all over the place stylistically. I can’t really say we’ve gone in one particular direction. In some ways I feel like we’re the same band, just making smarter decisions and learning to calm down and leave some space.

What can you tell me about your upcoming third album? How far into the writing process are you? Any ideas of when it might be released?

We’re about 75% done with our new album. Hoping to completely finish in the next few weeks! We’ve been working in Brooklyn with a producer named Dan Romer, who also happens to be a great friend of ours. He’s been doing a killer job and we had a great batch of songs to pick from, so I really think this is going to be my favorite record we’ve made. I really couldn’t be more excited about this one. Hopefully it’ll see the light of day in the late spring.

In 2009, you toured with Ben Folds on what I like to think of as the “piano rock dream tour.” What were the scariest and most rewarding things about sharing the stage with such a contemporary musical legend?

That was a great tour! It was the first large-club/theater tour we had ever done, so it was a surreal learning experience. His fans have been amazing to us.

I can imagine. So if you could embark on a tour with any 2-3 musicians around today, who would they be?

One of our collective favorite bands, the Dismemberment Plan, recently reunited for the tenth anniversary of Emergency and I (brilliant album). If they released a new album and asked us to go on a national tour, my brain would melt. Should I daydream another act on the bill? I think a resurrected Harry Nilsson would fit nicely.

You guys really seem to tour non-stop. What’s the best prank you’ve each pulled on one another while on the road?

We had Jesse convinced on a long drive that the earth only has one pole. Eventually, he figured it out. As a science major in college and an incredibly smart guy, he should have known better. But I guess we were pretty convincing (“think about the Mercator projection, Jesse!”).

Speaking of touring, you’re about to hit the road with Jack’s Mannequin for their winter tour. Anything especially exciting in store for the fans attending these shows?

If I told you they wouldn’t be surprises, now would they?

Very valid point. What were some of your favorite albums of 2011?

I’ve been floored by a lot of albums this year. Off the top of my head, some of my favorites (in no particular order) are Deerhoof’s Deerhoof vs. Evil (my favorite currently-active band), Ahleuchatistas’ Location, Location (angular and dissonant instrumental rock), They Might Be Giants’ Join Us, St. Vincent’s Strange Mercy, Delicate Steve’s Wondervisions (perfect, uplifting guitar-led instrumentals), Fleet Foxes’ Helplessness Blues, Grateful Dead’s Europe ’72 Vol. 2 (I know, I know), Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr’s It’s a Corporate World, TV On The Radio’s Nine Types of Light and White Denim’s D.

And finally, what are you looking forward to most about 2012?

Putting out a new record!

Thanks, Tommy! Can’t wait to see the show on Friday!

See ya there! Thanks!

Everything Under The Sun is available now via Yep Roc Records. Check out Jukebox The Ghost’s tour page to see when they’ll be playing at a venue near you.

Originally published on PopBytes

(Jukebox The Ghost's music video for "Schizophrenia")

ANOTHER HAPPY DAY (Film Review)

2011-11-29T18:18:00.000-08:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

Every so often, a movie comes along that completely crushes you. It’s the type of movie that hits every mark on the emotional spectrum. You know what type of film I’m talking about. The movie that leaves you staring at the screen long after the credits have stopped rolling, challenging someone to be the brave audience member to stand first. The movie that makes your soul feel totally drained when you step out of the theater. The movie that triggers a four-hour heart-to-heart with your best friend. The movie that reminds you of the impact cinema can have.

Written and directed by 26-year-old Sam Levinson, Another Happy Day is one of these movies. The plot of the film is one we’re all familiar with: a dysfunctional family reunites at a wedding and all hell breaks loose. Secrets start to come out. Grudges are resurrected. Claws are sharpened. Total chaos and misery ensues for all. You get it.

So how did such a seemingly cliché story win the “Best Screenwriting” award at the Sundance Film Festival this year? The key reason is that, unlike similar movies such as Rachel Getting Married, Another Happy Day is an intricate character study of not just an entire family, but of depression as a whole.

At the core of the film is Lynn Hellman, played immaculately by Bill O’Reilly’s favorite actress, Ellen Barkin, as she travels to her parents’ small-town Maryland estate for her estranged son’s wedding. There, she must deal with not only demons from her own past, but also from the pasts of her four children.

Despite his many trips to rehab, Lynn’s teenage son Elliot (played fantastically by We Need To Talk About Kevin’s Ezra Miller) still can’t resist the desire to use anything he can to get high – including the prescription medication of Lynn’s dying father. And where most movies would cast a drug addict like Elliot as the black sheep of the family, Another Happy Day defies convention by making him the wise character. Besides, there can’t really be a black sheep in a family without any sense of unity to begin with.

“So basically, the only things connecting us are these fucked-up moments that all of us would rather forget?” he asks his mother. And with this question, Elliot sums up the basic plot structure of the film.

Later on in the movie, Elliot questions why people seem to only be able to come together during tragedy. “Maybe we’d all get along if we were here for a funeral instead of a wedding,” he astutely points out to his grandmother (a marvelous Ellen Burstyn). Heavy, right?

But what Elliot truly embodies is the degree of self-sacrifice Lynn must make to keep the shards of what’s left of her family intact. In a particularly poignant scene, Elliot calls his mother a “cunt” before pushing her to the ground. Seconds later, the two of them are sitting together on the floor, consoling one another as they dissect their conditions. It’s little moments like this that make Another Happy Day such a brutally honest film. It’s little moments like this that demonstrate what a martyr Lynn has to be. After all, her children are the only members of her family that haven’t completely rejected her. Yet.

Levinson’s script also expertly showcases the generational pass-down of depression, all the way from Lynn’s mother to the youngest member of the family, her son Ben, who suffers from Asperger’s Syndrome. It’s the various types of depression and the coping mechanisms each member of the Hellman clan have that draw the dividing lines among them.

In some way or another, all of the characters have been the catalysts of one another’s broken lives, triggering chain effects of regret and severed ties. For instance, there’s a reason Lynn’s daughter, Alice (Kate Bosworth at her finest), hasn’t seen her father, Paul (Thomas Hayden Church), since her parents’ divorce nearly a decade earlier. And it’s no mistake that she has sleeves specially sewn onto her maid of honor dress so as not to reveal her bare arms.

By the actual day of the wedding, the audience is already queasy from their ride on an emotional rollercoaster. After watching the days leading up to the event, they have cranked up their anxiety dials to their maximum levels. Just as Elliot wonders the night before, the audience contemplates whether the Hellmans will be able to put aside their issues long enough to celebrate one happy day. Or are everyone’s wounds too raw and deep to be ignored?

With the spotlight on them, the Hellmans must be on their best behavior. But that doesn’t negate the fact that you can still stab someone with a smile on your face. Take Paul’s second wife (a freshly scorned Demi Moore). Although she may not be the groom’s biological mother, she was the one who raised him. After giving a toast full of childhood memories, she challenges Lynn to come to the stage to give a toast about her son. The son who picked Lynn to fill the role of the groom’s mother in his wedding ceremony (#REVENGEALERT!).

Without giving too much away, I can tell you that when Another Happy Day was over, I did not for a moment get the sense that the problems in the family had been patched up. I didn’t think that Lynn would stop crying or that Elliot would stop doing drugs or that Alice would stop mutilating herself. But I appreciated that. Too few films are willing to cut that close to the truth we seem to be culturally afraid of. And in life, we don’t always get that “everything is going to be fine” moment that we count on in the movies.

That being said, a lot of mainstream audiences are uncomfortable with films that end without any happy–or at least just–resolutions. In The Basketball Diaries, for instance, Leonardo DiCaprio’s former drug addict character is redeemed by becoming an anti-drug motivational speaker. In Requiem For A Dream, the characters are punished for their illegal habits. But too rarely do films choose not to resolve the conflicts at hand. Too seldom are the questions asked throughout a movie not answered.

Little wonder that Another Happy Day has received a rather lukewarm critical reception thus far. Hearing audience member’s inappropriate bursts of laughter throughout the movie and reading other reactions to it online, I felt that many viewers weren’t prepared for the detailed and often grim accounts of mental illness depicted here. But the sad reality is that a lot of the problems we have in life can’t be wrapped up simply because we crave closure. So why should film representations of these situations imply otherwise?

Yet at the end of the day, Another Happy Day is not a movie that will make you relinquish your sense of hope. In fact, despite the enormity of their problems, the Hellmans are there for one another. They take care of one another in their own unconventional and dark ways. And there’s certainly something extraordinary to say about that.

Another Happy Day is now playing in select theaters in New York and Los Angeles.

Originally published on PopBytes

And a very special thank you to Another Happy Day's Facebook and Twitter accounts for the social media love of this review!

MARILYN STRIPPED BARE

2011-11-25T13:15:00.000-08:00

A review of My Week With Marilyn
by ALEX NAGORSKI

It’s no wonder that Marilyn Monroe is one of the most famous women of all time. She wasn’t just the star of such classics as Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, The Seven Year Itch and Some Like It Hot. Monroe was an international symbol of femininity, sexuality and the American dream.

But as is the case with so many stars, the public Marilyn Monroe was very different from her tortured, fragile private persona. Her life followed the classic script about the Hollywood starlet whose life becomes overrun by fame, substance dependency and loneliness.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t skeptical when I first heard that a film about Monroe’s life was in the works. We’ve all seen Valley of the Dolls. We all watched as Britney Spears was forcibly removed from her home as a result of her mental instability. By now, we all understand that Hollywood has a reputation for building up its key players only to smirk as they crash and burn. So how was Monroe’s story going to be told without torturing a cliché or exploiting her legacy?

Simple. Instead of crafting a full biopic of the tragic star, My Week With Marilyn paints an honest portrait of Monroe by focusing (as the title states) on merely one week of her short life. By honing in on her daily struggles, the film provides the audience with pieces of a puzzle which, when put together, helps them understand this deeply troubled woman as a whole.

While Monroe is obviously the focal point of the film, My Week With Marilyn is equally the story of Colin Clark (played with fervor by Eddie Redmayne), an assistant on the 1956 British set of Monroe and Laurence Olivier’s co-starring vehicle, The Prince and the Showgirl. During the shooting of this film, Monroe’s then husband, Arthur Miller, left England to go work in America, resulting in her very brief affair with Clark.

To Monroe, Clark represents a type of innocence. He’s a boy who idolizes her for her celebrity status yet is also able to protect her from it by seeing past her façade. He hasn’t been corrupted by the pressures and politics of Hollywood and provides an alternate reality: one in which she can be free from the “Marilyn Monroe” mask she’s burdened with wearing. It’s a fantasy to which Monroe, self-aware as she is insecure, can briefly escape. Yet, despite Clark’s best efforts, she knows that it’s not one where she can stay.

As a result, Clark becomes Monroe’s puppet of sorts. He attempts to soothe her insecurities by providing her a level of attention that he witnessed Miller failing to give her. When she’s lonely, Clark is at her beck and call. He tells her that she’s the world’s greatest actress. He confesses how much he loves her. He tells her the truth about The Prince and the Showgirl, explaining that it isn’t the movie that’s going to launch her as the serious actress she so longs to be. He convinces her that he understands who she really is at the core. But to Monroe, Clark is nothing more than a hologram – a pretty illusion that acts as a projection of what she desires. Someone to fill the void until her real savior shows up.

It’s impossible, however, to continue writing about this cinematic achievement without discussing its extraordinary lead actress, Michelle Williams. The amount of rawness and passion that Williams brings to the role provides for such a razor-sharp foray into Monroe’s psyche that it’s hard to watch her and not feel intrusive. To not feel like you’re trespassing on a stranger’s innermost private moments.

As she did last year in the devastatingly gorgeous Blue Valentine, Williams demonstrates a firm grasp of her character, conveying an unsurpassed degree of truth. Even in a year of exceptionally strong female performances--Kirsten Dunst in Melancholia and Ellen Barkin in Another Happy Day--Williams soars above her awards season competition. She does so by channeling this real-life woman with such authenticity that even Monroe’s friends and companions are singing her praises.

Williams doesn’t even appear on screen until well into the film. Instead, director Simon Curtis brilliantly sets up Monroe’s arrival in England by showing the hype surrounding it, paving the path for the events to come. And it’s not until nearly half of the movie has gone by that Williams explicitly struggles with over-medicating or feelings of solitude.

Yet, even when she is first presented as the bubbly Marilyn we all know, Williams masterfully displays a subtle vulnerability that suggests we’re only seeing the surface of this incredibly complex character. She masters Monroe to such a degree that even her smallest facial expressions reveal to the audience that this was a woman in the midst of unraveling.

It’s interesting to think of Williams playing this despondent role. After all, Marilyn Monroe was a much deeper and more elaborate character than any part Monroe herself ever played. And where Williams shines brightest is by showing the juxtaposition of the real-life woman and the hollow character she tries to make into a believable person.

Another reason why My Week With Marilyn succeeds so well is that it is an actor’s movie. And I don’t just mean because of the phenomenal performances from Williams, Redmayne, Kenneth Branagh, Judi Dench and Emma Watson. Similar to The Artist, one aspect of My Week with Marilyn I found to be especially fascinating was the narrative it employed about the tensions between “old” and “new” Hollywood – or rather classical vs. modern methods of acting.

In the movie, Olivier is portrayed as a classically trained actor struggling to adjust to a post-Stanislavski climate. Monroe, on the other hand, is the quintessential manifestation of the contemporary actress. She even has an acting coach on set to walk her through her beats and objectives as she attempts to understand Elsie, her seemingly one-dimensional The Prince and the Showgirl character.

During a particularly memorable moment of the film, Olivier becomes increasingly frustrated with Monroe with each failed take of a scene. Monroe is not able to understand her character’s motives, let alone agree with them. Therefore, she can’t bring herself to shoot the scene because it defies the idea of truth she believes acting is all about.

“Can’t you just be sexy? Isn’t that what you do?” Olivier barks at her in a fury. It is clear that Olivier, as both the director and co-star of The Prince and the Showgirl, is far less concerned with Monroe’s craft than he is with her spectacle.

To a woman who wishes nothing more than to be taken seriously, this is the cruelest directive to be given. It is made obvious that, even among her peers, Monroe was seen as nothing more than a toy to be objectified at the public’s disposal. Her happiness and health were irrelevant as long as she could remain the blonde bombshell who seductively pouted her lips and winked at the screen.

What makes the movie even sadder is that every viewer knows about Monroe’s eventual lethal overdose. A standard biopic would have documented all the specifics of Monroe’s downward spiral. My Week With Marilyn takes a different approach—and packs a more concentrated punch. Williams’ stellar performance, Curtis’ direction and Adrian Hodge’s script showcase just how depressed, misunderstood and frail a person Monroe really was. The result is a truly heartbreaking, beautiful, original piece of art that should be on every Academy voter’s radar this season.

My Week With Marilyn is playing in select cities now.

Originally published on PopBytes

A VERY SHE & HIM CHRISTMAS (ALBUM REVIEW)

2011-11-07T07:54:00.000-08:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

So here’s the thing.

Christmas is easily my favorite holiday. There’s nothing that gives me a greater sense of warmth and joy than walking along Fifth Avenue and being mesmerized by the stories the window displays at Saks and Bergdorf. When I was little, I always insisted on trying to count the lights on the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree and taking pictures with the FAO Schwarz employees dressed as Nutcrackers. Trust me, they loved it.

However, when it comes to holiday music, I usually want to Van Gogh my ears off. There’s really only so much “cheer” you can get from Julie Andrews narrating the birth of Jesus before you want to burn down the manger, you know?

Then came along Zooey Deschanel. Cute, quirky, perfect little Zooey Deschanel. Just cozily sitting there on the cover of her band She & Him’s new Christmas album, gazing somewhere to the left with her Powerpuff Girls eyes open wide enough to seem like she was watching old Claus make his way down her chimney. “Goddamnit,” I thought to myself the moment I saw the image. “She’s going to exorcise the Grinch right out of me.”

And I was right. You literally need to be the world’s most soulless human being to put on A Very She & Him Christmas and not have it immediately melt your heart. I guarantee that if someone had just played one track off the record for Ebenezer Scrooge, he could have bypassed that whole time-traveling ghost fiasco.

From the moment the album kicks off with Zooey’s illustrious vocals singing about “frosted window panes” in “The Christmas Waltz,” a glow is ignited warm enough to feel like you’re sipping hot chocolate by a burning Yule log in a Zales commercial.

A Very She & Him Christmas is comprised of 12 Christmas standards. And while most Christmas albums are filled with songs with countless references to religion, this record is (thank god!) made up entirely of holiday songs sans any shout outs to Bethlehem or the big J.

Instrumentally, the album uses little more than a ukulele. The result is a refreshingly organic take on music that has been recorded and re-recorded by countless artists for decades. Yet somehow, Deschanel and Ward have crafted a unique spin on these classic songs while simultaneously injecting them with that vintage flair that makes them so familiar.

Not since Judy Garland debuted it in Meet Me In St. Louis has “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” sounded so sweet and honest. Deschanel proves that the song doesn’t need to be “decorated” with riffs every two seconds to showcase the singer’s vocal strength (sit down, Christina Aguilera). By stripping it back to basics, She & Him have returned the tenderness that has been lacking from contemporary interpretations of the song.

Most people discovered Zooey’s enchanting voice when she crooned “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” in the film Elf. On A Very She & Him Christmas, she revisits the song – except she switches verses and takes over the male part while Ward sings the female’s. The most up-tempo track on the album, this twist on the classic song had me hankering for Zooey to drug my eggnog and take advantage of me so badly.

The tranquil quality of tracks like “Silver Bells,” “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” and “The Christmas Song” provide for a soothing soundtrack to enjoy while quietly cuddled up under a warm blanket. But if that’s not really your thing and you’d rather try to score under the mistletoe at your neighbor’s ugly Christmas sweater themed party, crank up the more upbeat cuts like “Sleigh Ride,” “Little Saint Nick” and “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree” and your bells will be jinglin’ in no time.

There’s really no word that describes A Very She & Him Christmas better than “snuggly.” Listening to the record is like being given a Golden Labrador puppy on Christmas morning that you name Kisses because he can’t stop crawling all over and licking you. It releases the same endorphins you would get as a kid when you realized that the cookies you left out for Santa on Christmas Eve were gone in the morning. It’s just the perfect holiday treat from start to finish.

While it may only be the beginning of November, Deschanel and Ward have released an instant classic that has me counting down until Christmas with the same giddy gingerbread glee I haven’t felt since I was a child.

A Very She & Him Christmas was released on October 24. (iTunes)

Originally published on MuuMuse

KELLY CLARKSON RELEASES DEBUT EP, "THE SMOAKSTACK SESSIONS" (REVIEW)

2011-10-27T08:57:00.000-07:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

This week marked the release of Kelly Clarkson’s fifth album, Stronger. But then again, you already know all about that thanks to my good friend Bradley’s stellar review.

Fans who pre-ordered the album from Kelly’s official website were also given the option to treat themselves to her debut EP, The Smoakstack Sessions. Recorded at the Smoakstack Studios in Nashville, the 6-track EP is made up of alternate versions of select tracks from Stronger, a reworking of “If I Can’t Have You” and a cover of Bonnie Raitt’s “I Can’t Make You Love Me.”

Interestingly, the EP does not include Stronger’s lead single, “Mr. Know It All” or confirmed second single, the anthemic “What Doesn’t Kill You (Stronger).” And while I was disappointed to not see “Honestly” or “Dark Side” (which I reviewed upon its initial leak in July) make the tracklisting, I’m also appreciative that the EP is shedding a spotlight on some of Kelly’s lesser buzzed about tracks.

I have to admit that as a whole, I actually prefer the EP recordings of these songs to the versions included on Kelly’s albums. Allow me to guide you through each track to explain why.

1. “Hello”
Often times when Kelly performs her music, she downplays the pop element and increases the grunge factor. While on Stronger, “Hello” is a quirky song full of energetic handclaps and infectious pop/rock flavor, here it shines as both a grittier and more soulful track. Removing much of the original’s instrumentation, The Smoakstack Sessions’ “Hello” is the perfect melding of Kelly’s adoration for both rock and blues.

And although this version of “Hello” undergoes the least amount of changes between album tracks and the interpretations of them found on this EP, it still manages to stick out as one of the edgiest cuts from the Stronger era.

2. “The War Is Over”
The same way that Kelly’s acoustic version of her previous hit “Already Gone” took an already pretty song and made it something remarkably gorgeous, this bare version of “The War Is Over” towers over its album counterpart.

On Stronger, Kelly sings this song with a tone of confidence and defiance. Yet on The Smoakstack Sessions, “The War Is Over” becomes a desperate plea in which Kelly is painfully trying to convince herself of the truths she’s singing. Her raw vocals add layers of rasp and honesty missing from the polished album version. Thus, the vulnerability displayed adds a hauntingly gorgeous sense of fragility to the song.

3. “You Love Me”
On Stronger, “You Love Me” is a bouncy and upbeat track that’s fun to bop your head and burst your bubblegum to. This EP version, however, replaces the album’s sunshine infused ‘80s pop sound with aggressively dark rock.

Amplified by minor chord progression, the lyrics of the song don’t just cut you deeper than the version you’re used to – they stare into your eyes as they do so. The rage Kelly was channeling as she wrote the song comes full surface as every “I’m not good enough” is infused with a venomous sting of betrayal.

This brash take on the song may as well be dubbed the “My December Remix” because it’s the first time we’ve heard Kelly truly release the angry rock star out of her pop cage since that album’s release.

4. “The Sun Will Rise”
Sticking to her Texan roots, Kelly has always been a public supporter of country music. Don’t think she has the chops for it? Just listen to her duets with Reba McEntire, Jason Aldean and Rascall Flats or her live cover of Carrie Underwood’s “I Know You Won’t” from her Los Angeles show last week. Convinced yet?

On this reworking of the final track from the deluxe edition of Stronger, Kelly premieres her first true solo country effort. Thankfully getting rid of Kara DioGuardi’s lackluster vocals that are featured on the album version, Kelly’s country tinged voice takes center stage as she croons over the accompaniment of gentle strings and crescendo-ing percussion. The result is not only a testament to Kelly’s wide range and genre flexibility, but will also have you reaching for sweet tea from the rocking chair on your front porch after the first listen.

5. “If I Can’t Have You”
Originally released on Kelly’s fourth album, All I Ever Wanted, “If I Can’t Have You” was a synthesis of pop/rock and dance music in the vein of The Veronicas’ “Untouched.” Yet when she performed it on the “All I Ever Wanted Tour,” Kelly shook the glitter off of the song and drastically slowed down its tempo.

On The Smoakstack Sessions, this stripped version of “If I Can’t Have You” has finally become available for those fans that fell in love with it after seeing Kelly live. In the place of synthesizers is a fusion of electric guitars, drums and even an organ, which significantly enhances the song’s melancholy mood. Vocally, Kelly cranks up her riff dial as she experiments with the song’s melody. The final product is a refreshingly organic spin on an already fantastic track.

6. “I Can’t Make You Love Me”
When Kelly Clarkson covers someone else’s song, it’s always hard to believe that she is not the original musician behind it. Whether she’s singing songs by Aretha Franklin, Patsy Cline, Aerosmith, The White Stripes, Patty Griffin or mashing up Alanis Morrisette with Kings of Leon, Kelly always injects the music with a passionate fervor and makes it uniquely her own.

On this cover of Bonnie Raitt’s classic “I Can’t Make You Love Me,” Kelly sticks true to the original while simultaneously grounding the song for a more contemporary audience. The intimacy and tranquility of Kelly’s sweet and smooth vocals effortlessly evoke images of her recording by candlelight on a cool spring evening. Anyone looking for a reminder of why Kelly was crowned America’s premiere Idol need look no further than here.

PS: If you haven’t already, make sure to enter MuuMuse’s Stronger giveaway! Ends on November 2.

The Smoakstack Sessions EP is currently available exclusively from Kelly Clarkson’s official web store. Stronger was released on October 24. (Kelly’s Official Store) (iTunes)

Originally published on MuuMuse

BEN FOLDS RELEASES 3-DISC CAREER RETROSPECTIVE, THE BEST IMITATION OF MYSELF

2011-10-20T06:44:00.000-07:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

I’ll never forget the first time I heard a Ben Folds song. I was nine-years-old and Titanic had just hit the theaters. It was the second or third week that the movie was out, but already I had seen it four times. The weekend was approaching and I begged my mother to take me to go see it again. Her answer? “Are you crazy?”

Defeated, I retreated to my bedroom and proceeded to flip through every magazine in the house to find pictures of Kate Winslet to add to the collage that was quickly spanning my entire wall. In my angsty, pre-pubescent rage, I turned on the radio, hoping for a little Celine Dion. Instead, Ben Folds Five’s “Brick” began to play.

Immediately, I was drawn in by the somber piano introduction and the melancholy tenor voice that sang above it. I remember putting the scissors and tabloids down so I could devote all of my attention to this music – this music that for some reason was putting the rest of my life on pause. “She’s a brick and I’m drowning slowly, off the coast and I’m heading nowhere,” rang the chorus. “Oh my god,” I thought to myself as I began to interpret the lyrics very literally. “This is Jack’s song!”

It goes without saying that “Brick” was not written as Leonardo DiCaprio’s character’s final lament. But the key words I chose to focus on and the undeniable sorrow in Folds’ voice convinced me that this was the musical response to that now iconic scene of Jack floating in the water, sacrificing himself to keep Rose alive.

It wasn’t until years later that I was old enough to understand that “Brick” was in reality a song about abortion. I’ll never forget the moment when I popped in that old mixtape I practically wore out in elementary school and really listened to the lyrics. It was the millionth time that I heard that song, but the first time that I grasped its true significance. Not to say that other songs on the mixtape aren’t classics in their own right--Madonna’s “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina” and The Spice Girls’ “Who Do You Think You Are?” But “Brick” taught me something essential about music.

The lesson I learned is that although you may not always be able to relate exactly to the words being sung, you can apply your own narratives to the music you listen to. And even if millions of other people may be listening to the same song that you are, how you interpret it and the feelings and thoughts it triggers inside of you are yours alone.

Through the years, I continued to listen to Ben Folds and treated him as a teacher. His songs were everything to me, educating me about aspects of life I hadn’t yet experienced. Through his music, I learned that one day I would have my heart broken and although I’d be sad about it, I’d be okay. I learned that it was not only alright but that it was cool to be different. Folds’ lyrics demonstrated to me that even though life was full of disappointment, it was something worth cherishing.

Last week marked the release of The Best Imitation Of Myself, a career spanning 3-disc retrospective of Folds’ work from the past 15 years. Highlighting his time in Ben Folds Five and the solo career that followed, this 61-track collection brilliantly weaves together a portrait of a man that legions of fans revere as their messiah.

One of my absolute favorite things about Folds is his dry and sarcastic sense of humor. He’s one of the few artists I know who is consistently able to remain funny in his music while simultaneously singing catchy tunes and telling a story.

On The Best Imitation of Myself, Folds’ humor has never been more front and center. After all, what other musician would include mellowed out covers of Dr. Dre’s “Bitches Ain’t Shit” and Ke$ha’s “Sleazy” on a record that’s supposed to define the premiere (nearly) two decades of their career?

With “Rockin’ The Suburbs,” Folds created one of the catchiest hooks in contemporary pop/rock. “Y’all don’t know what it’s like being male, middle class and white,” he repeatedly chimes in the song’s bridge before crescendoing into screaming profanities. By channeling the socio-politics of the well-to-do, Folds points a finger and playfully laughs at their expense (for more, see also “Levi Johnston’s Blues”).

The Best Imitation of Myself also reveals just how much Folds enjoys sharing the spotlight. Collaborations with artists like Regina Spektor, Ben Kweller, The West Australian Symphony Orchestra and literary figures such as Nick Hornby and Neil Gaiman populate the tracklisting. My personal favorite? The flawless live cover of George Michael’s “Careless Whisper,” in which Folds duets with Canadian singer/songwriter Rufus Wainwright.

For this retrospective, Folds reunited with his former Ben Folds Five band members and recorded a series of new tracks, each one sounding like a polar musical opposite of the other. With “Tell Me What I Did,” Folds shows off just how hard he can rock. On “Stumblin’ Home Winter Blues,” he channels a soft folk side that incorporates Bob Dylan-esque lyrics with gentle strings, percussion and his signature piano. And with “House,” Folds has created the most honest pop song of the year, earnestly telling the sad tale of attempting to let go of one’s past against the backdrop of a Lite FM-friendly midtempo alternative rock track.

When Rolling Stone asked Folds about how he selected tracks for The Best Imitation of Myself, he replied: “The excitement about it started when it graduated from being like a ‘best of,’ which anyone can make as a mixtape, to something that had tracks that hadn't been heard, much less released.”

And that’s part of what makes this collection stand out so much. Usually when artists release retrospectives, they try to cram all of their biggest songs onto a single disc. While you will find all of the Folds standards like “The Luckiest, “Underground” and “Landed” on The Best Imitation of Myself, this is a far cry from a greatest hits album.

Instead, The Best Imitation of Myself serves as a map of Folds’ entire discography, putting up flags in each era of his career. Where the first disc is mostly his hits, disc two is made up entirely of live recordings of fan-favorite songs, the majority of which never saw the light of day as singles. And disc three is composed of previously unreleased demos, live recordings and alternate mixes of album tracks. In other words, fans who have purchased every album Folds has ever put out will still have at least an entire disc’s worth of new content.

Whether you’ve been a fan since day one or are just boarding on the Ben Folds train now, The Best Imitation of Myself is a rare musical treat that not only exemplifies the talent of one of the most prolific artists in the industry, but showcases that at its core, music is one of the most exceptional, beautiful and powerful resources available to us as human beings.

Ben Folds is a true genius. And if you don’t already agree, I promise that one listen of The Best Imitation of Myself will change your mind.

The Best Imitation of Myself is in stores now.

INTERVIEW WITH...KATIE HERZIG!

2011-09-28T09:26:00.000-07:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

Last week, singer/songwriter Katie Herzig released her fifth studio album, The Waking Sleep. On this record, the Grammy Award-nominated chanteuse abandoned her signature melancholy acoustic-driven sound in favor of matured and complex dark electronica layered with contemporary folk pop. The result? A near flawless compilation of music guaranteed to secure a prominent spot on the year-end list of anyone who gives it a listen.

I caught up with Katie about everything from her creative process, to what it feels like to be featured on so many film and television soundtracks, to plans about her current headlining tour.

AN: First of all, congratulations on The Waking Sleep. I have to say, it’s honestly one of the most gorgeous and remarkable records I’ve heard in a very long time. One of the things I love about it is that while it’s a new sound for you, it still remains true to the stripped down and raw feel of your previous albums. What triggered this desire to experiment in the studio?

KH: Wow, thank you very much! I think I’ve always felt the pull to experiment and layer in the studio, perhaps I just have new tools at my fingertips and new influences to help guide me.

I really love the way you layered in organic instruments with digitally programmed sounds. It created such a unique and refreshing final product. Is it safe to say that this is the direction you intend to continue making your music in?

I think so, yeah. I actually have been layering programmed stuff with organic stuff previous to this album, but not as boldly as this, and the further I go along, the more programming tools I seem to acquire. But you know, I wouldn’t rule anything out for where I’m headed in the future. But currently I am all about the marriage of these two things. I also should mention that my co-producer Cason Cooley is just as in love with combining the organic and synthetic sounds so we really went there together.

Tell me a little bit about your creative process. I can imagine that when mixing mediums like this, it’s significantly different than just writing a song on the ukulele and jotting down lyrics.

Yeah, for this record there are only a few songs I wrote start to finish on a guitar or something. I was building tracks and writing these songs as I built them. It was so much fun creating this way and it was really inspiring to write lyrics to these musical landscapes I’d created to write them in. But I promised myself that I’d still need to have these songs stand on their own without all the production around them, luckily they do. But the production is such a huge part of what I have come to love about them.

On The Waking Sleep, it wasn’t just the music that seemed to mature; your lyrical content did as well. The album feels less dominated by themes of relationships than your previous releases and instead seems to also focus on larger, global issues. What sparked this change in your songwriting?

You are correct. I think that’s just because the larger global issues were more present in my mind when I was writing this record. To feel real legitimate concern about certain things going on in the world is a very weighty thing and I think a lot of people are feeling that these days. So it was very therapeutic to write about it… and also very challenging… harder than writing songs about love.

What is the most obscure thing that’s ever inspired you to write a song?

Hmmm, good question. V for Vendetta. Not that obscure of a film, but I saw that movie and went right home and wrote a song. It’s still one of my favorites but I’ve never released it.

If you had to perform one of your songs every day for the rest of your life, which one would it be?

“Wish You Well.”

Whether it was in the Sex and The City movie or on TV shows like Grey’s Anatomy, many of your songs have been showcased on various soundtracks. Is it strange for you then to hear your music applied to these fictional narratives that are so removed from your songwriting process?

Yes, it is a very odd feeling. For the most part when a song is paired with something that feels really fitting it is very magical actually. Music can be such a powerful thing behind a good story or scene. So it really is the ultimate when they work well together.

Back in the ‘90s, Madonna released I’m Breathless, an album of original songs that also served as the soundtrack to the film Dick Tracy. As someone whose music has been so heavily featured in film and television, would you ever consider doing something similar and recording an entire album to be the backdrop of a singular movie or show? If so, are there any specific filmmakers, writers, directors, actors, etc. that you would want to work with?

I would love to do this, yes. Sophia Coppola comes to mind, Peter Hedges, Ang Lee… so many really. I admire composers like Mark Mothersbaugh and Gustavo Santaolalla. I think if I did all the music I’d rather not sing every song, but create musical pieces and themes that run throughout… kind of like Trent Reznor did with music for The Social Network. Maybe sing some of them. It’d be really hard work but really rewarding I think.

(Katie Herzig's music video for "Free My Mind")

In support of The Waking Sleep, you’re currently embarking on a headlining tour. How has the experience of playing these new songs live compared to the acoustic feel of performing your older material?

It’s crazy, it honestly feels like the new stuff is a whole new band, so it’s a challenge to weave them together. But a great challenge that I’m up for. I can’t wait to get out there and play these songs every night and start to figure out the best way to present them live. We’ve played a handful of shows already performing the new stuff, but we’re still pretty think-y about it. It’ll settle in and we’ll create some really great moments I think. These songs really lend themselves to having a show with lots of dynamics and exciting moments, mixed with really sparse beautiful delicate moments. I love both. Couldn’t imagine a show without both.

Are there any surprises fans can expect from this tour?

If someone has seen me before with my acoustic trio they will be more surprised than if they’ve already seen me with a full on band. There will be a lot going on onstage. Vibes, horns, toms, samples, lots of switching of instruments…

As someone who travels as much as you do, what do you find to be the first three things you HAVE to do whenever you return home after a tour?

Make a home-cooked meal. Laundry. Lots of yoga.

And speaking of touring, what’s the craziest thing that’s ever happened to you on your tour bus?

I got left behind once. It was the second bus tour I did with Ten Out of Tenn. It was the beginning of tour and I had just gotten back to the US from Germany so I was waking up super early in the mornings. One morning I got up really early and went to get coffee and the tour manager thought we were all still asleep on the bus so he had the bus take off early for Atlanta… when I got back to the bus they were already in the next town, 4 hours away. I had to hop in a taxi, rent a car and take a train to make it to the show.

Tell me a little bit more about Ten Out of Tenn. This is a touring troupe that takes 10 singer/songwriters from Nashville and puts them all on one stage to perform their music, both separately and together. What is it about the Nashville music scene that you think creates such different and talented musicians?

I think that music towns draw a lot of really talented people to them. When those people stick around and play out enough, you start to learn who the really talented ones are that people are talking about. With Nashville it’s become this really thriving scene of artists who aren’t country musicians. Ten Out of Tenn showcases that community, and takes it on the road. It really is a very supportive and collaborative community. Since Nashville is such a big co-writing town I think that feeds the collaboration.

What has been the most rewarding part of being involved with Ten out of Tenn? It seems like a very collaborative and inspiring environment to be part of.

It is. I am currently on maybe my 5th TOT tour. It becomes harder and harder to get solo artists schedules to line up for a couple weeks at a time, so it feels like a little miracle each night. Having so many talented solo artists on the same stage. It’s beautiful to see people who are used to carrying their own shows, supporting each other and being each other’s band. The most rewarding thing personally is just the life-long friendships I’ve made out of the experiences.

Thanks very much for your time, Katie. And kudos again on The Waking Sleep.

My pleasure, thank so much for digging the record and asking good questions!

Originally published on MuuMuse

BEYONCE OPENS UP WITH MOST PERSONAL MUSIC VIDEO TO DATE: “1+1”

2011-09-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

She’s had killer live performances on American Idol, The Billboard Music Awards, the final episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show and The 2011 MTV Video Music Awards, among many others. But Beyoncé has not been able to secure her usual chart domination with the singles she’s released from her latest album, 4.

The record is to her what My December was to Kelly Clarkson or what Rated R was to Rihanna: a significantly less commercially mainstream compilation of vulnerable songs that serve more as aural diaries than club-banging monster-hits.

Beyoncé’s willingness to share her innermost feelings on 4 isn’t just limited to the lyrics. The music videos she’s released thus far from the record have been layered with intricate stories that remove the dance floor diva mask of “Single Ladies” and replace it with an artist on the brink of full emotional exposure. The latest and strongest offering? The just-released video for the album’s stirring opening track, “1+1.”

The video serves as a thesis on sex from a female’s perspective. Or rather, Beyoncé’s perspective of what she believes is the (somewhat essentialist) female experience of sex.

To Beyoncé, sex is not just about being physically intimate with a man. She places a strong emphasis on the emotional connection, which signifies the symbiotic relationship of love and lust.

This is most evident in the scenes where Beyoncé is dancing with her man, leaning on him for support and trusting that he’ll keep her safe. She’s fearless about falling, thereby allowing herself to be completely free when with him; her dance moves almost look like the “trust your partner” icebreaker game made famous by summer camp counselors across America. It is shots such as these and the close-ups of her crying from joy that really express Beyoncé’s conviction that love is as much of a part of sex as physical attraction.

Of course, there’s raw sexiness, too, with interspliced shots of B in tantalizing lingerie or suggestively wiping the sweat off her face. It’s the mix of tenderness, trust and sex that offers her definition of what it means to, in her words, “make love.”

Even the colors of the video showcase the merging of the physical and emotional. The shots in which Beyoncé is scantily clad in leopard print lingerie find her against a fiery red backdrop, the core of which burns like an ember and adds a layer of smoke to the room.

By contrast, the scenes that spotlight the aspect of trust and emotional connection are awash in a delicate indigo tint, providing a tranquil setting with a hint of vulnerability.

And when covered in gold, Beyoncé is basking in a glow of the after-effect of her and her lover’s coming together. Mixed in with the diamonds shimmering off of her skin, the gold symbolizes the lovers’ ultimate union that Beyoncé is singing about. She believes that making love removes a woman from her current dimension and transcends her to an ethereal state of being, as further evidenced by the golden aura and glimmering smile that closes the video.

During the musical bridge, the video revs up its sexual engine by framing kaleidoscopic shots of the indigo, red, and gold all crashing into one another. With this scene, the sensuality and vehemence of Beyoncé’s sexual experience is on full display.

The title of “1+1” also captures the concept of the video. The song is named after two individuals bonding together to become one, which is precisely how the sex is depicted. The video opens with Beyoncé by herself and continues to focus entirely on her, grounding her as the strong female character we’ve admired through previous works like “Independent Women” and “Run The World (Girls).”

A man does appear in the video, but only half way through and his face is not shown. The focus never shifts from Beyoncé; it’s her feelings that matter. Even in this collision of bodies and passion, her individuality remains fierce and intact – which is a big part of the message of the song.

Throughout her career, Beyoncé has delivered some of the most unforgettable music videos in recent memory (just ask Kanye!). But none of her earlier videos approach the intimacy level of “1+1.” Artistically brilliant and stuffed with intricate symbolism, the video is easily one of the most honest of the year.

“1+1” may not be the radio hit expected from Beyoncé. Its accompanying video, however, is a true testament to her artistry and fully exemplifies the rawness and personal exposure of 4 as a whole. Besides, it doesn’t hurt the eyes that she has never looked more gorgeous. Personally, I applaud Beyoncé for stretching beyond her comfort zones and creating such a masterful and exquisite piece of work.

Let’s just hope the little Embryoncé growing inside of her doesn’t figure out that this video was shot around the time of his or her conception.

Originally published on MuuMuse

All .GIFs courtesy of MTV Buzzworthy

MADONNA SPILLS DETAILS ON NEW ALBUM AND SHARES OPINIONS ON LADY GAGA ... AND HYDRANGEAS

2011-09-07T23:46:00.000-07:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

When it comes to successful pop music, 2011 has sparked a striking resemblance to an all-female commune – meaning there hasn’t been a male sighting in quite some time.

Since their live performances at the 2011 MTV Video Music Awards, sales have skyrocketed for artists like Beyoncé. After the show, her album, 4, had an 87% sales increase, making it the first time its numbers haven’t dropped since its initial release.

Following her heart wrenching performance, Adele’s latest single, “Someone Like You,” has just hit #1. Meanwhile, her album, 21, continues to cremate the sales of basically every other release this year, as it has done since it set up camp on top of the Billboard charts upon its debut in February.

But the VMAs aren’t the only thing that’s made ladies take over the industry. Even good ol’ Christina Aguilera recently got her first #1 single since 2001’s “Lady Marmalade.” Due to “Moves Like Jagger,” Aguilera now has a #1 single in each of the past three decades. I’ll give away a free copy of Bionic to anybody who saw that one coming.

With new singles just released by acts like Leona Lewis, JoJo and Kelly Clarkson (who today dropped the stunning cover art for her new album, Stronger) and upcoming albums by the likes of Demi Lovato and Rihanna, it looks as though the female reign of dominance won’t be letting up anytime soon.

But while all this girl power would make even the Spice Girls proud, there’s been a significant lack of the older women who defined the pop genre. The ones who paved the paths for all the little Selena Gomezes of the world. Namely: Madonna. Well folks, that’s all about to change.

As we prepare for the Holy Madge to descend upon us once more, I invite you to please join me as I usher in the parade to welcome a new era of pop music. Something I like to call, “meno-pop.”

Madonna is currently in the studio beginning work on her 12th studio album. While in Venice this past weekend promoting her directorial film debut, W.E., she spilled some details about the upcoming release (her first since leaving Warner Bros. Records and signing an exclusive, lavish contract with Live Nation).

In addition to confirming the rumors that she’ll be reuniting with Ray of Light and “Beautiful Stranger” producer, William Orbit, Madonna stated that the album’s lead single would be released in either February or March, followed by the full record later in the spring. Warning: the 2012 apocalypse may now come a few months early to regain the spotlight it lost upon this announcement.

So what other collaborators can we expect? Rumors have been circulating about involvement from French DJ extraordinaire David Guetta, although nothing has been officially confirmed. Yet. But one contemporary “it” act you most likely won’t be seeing on the album is Lady GaGa.

GaGa has always been an open Madonna fanatic. So much so that her biggest critics fuel on the allegations that she does nothing more than carbon copy Madonna’s early career. And despite appearing on SNL together, Madonna too seems less than flattered at GaGa’s standom. Or at the very least, confused by it.

"As for Lady GaGa, I have no comment to make about her obsessions having to do with me because I don't know whether her behavior is rooted in something deep and meaningful or superficial," Madonna allegedly told French newspaper Le Soir. Ouch.

In her own little passive aggressive bitch-quit-tryin-to-snatch-my-wig way, Madonna’s comments essentially just prove that GaGa is nothing but a hydrangea in her garden of followers. Some might be attracted to it and consider it a favorite, but Queen M? Oh no, she will not stand for it. Don’t know what I’m talking about? See for yourself with this (already viral) video from this past weekend.

But GaGa’s feelings shouldn’t be hurt for too long. Cher is reading the release of her next album with a lead single (rumored to hit airwaves this month) that is not only written by but also features GaGa. See Lady G? You can still get your slice of meno-pop pie.

When she returns to New York this fall, Madonna will be working on completing her as-of-yet untitled new album through the end of the year. While all other details about the record would be nothing more than speculation, one thing is certain: nobody knows what to expect.

Madonna’s sound has evolved dramatically with each album she’s put out. But no matter what this new album will end up sounding like, the time to start getting excited is now. After all, a new album usually a means a new tour, right?

And I hope for Adele’s sake, she has a nice little country home to retreat to full of fond memories and things that make her happy. Because once Madonna is back, there’ll be no room to share the throne.

INTRODUCING ... DAWES!

2011-09-06T23:36:00.000-07:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

It’s tricky being innovative when you’re a musician. If you play it safe and stick to an already successful sound, you risk fading into the background and/or being accused of unoriginality. If you experiment with a completely radical and brand new sound, there’s a good chance your stuff won’t be heard by many. So what is there to do? Both, of course.

The number of contemporary artists whose sounds pay homage to decades past is increasing rapidly. What makes these artists stand out, however, is not how well they emulate the musicians before them, but rather how they add their own unique twist to these sounds to make them their own.

Bands like She & Him blend ‘60s girl pop with Simon & Garfunkel-esque rock and contemporary indie folk. Adele continues to reign supreme at the top of the charts with her husky and bluesy Etta James-like voice, combining elements of old school jazz with modern pop. And representing the resurgence of classic rock are Los Angeles’ very own Dawes.

(Dawes' music video for "When My Time Comes")

Since the release of their debut album North Hills in 2009, Dawes has steadily built an incredibly loyal fanbase. And rightfully so. Their amalgamation of vintage rock ‘n roll with today’s folk music results in a clever twist of contemporary Americana in the same vein as bands like Mumford & Sons or Kings of Leon.

At the forefront of this generation’s addition to the legacy of the Laurel Canyon sound, Dawes is comprised of a pair of brothers and two of their friends. Together, their lush harmonies compliment the gritty, sometimes country-tinged feel of their California sunset-tinted music.

This past June, Dawes released their fantastic sophomore album, Nothing Is Wrong to massive critical acclaim. To further enhance their classic rock cred, Dawes enlisted help from old greats such as Benmont Tench of The Heartbreakers (who also contributed to North Hills) and Jackson Browne. To do backup vocals and instrumentations. THAT is how good Dawes are. They can get veteran legends of the industry to not only ask to work with them but to not even be heavily featured.

“After two years of fine-tuning their live sound, all of the members of Dawes have become master musicians not only individually, but as a collective,” wrote Paste Magazine in their review of the record. “While many bands often succumb to the fabled ‘sophomore slump’ after an impressive debut (such as North Hills), Dawes appears to have never even heard the phrase,” they concluded.

Nothing Is Wrong came as a true musical evolution for Dawes. The band has clearly matured in the two years since North Hills. Their already evocative lyrics, for instance, have transformed into full-fledged poetry.

(Dawes performs "Time Spent In Los Angeles" on The David Letterman Show)

“But you got that special kind of sadness, you got that tragic set of charms that only comes from time spent in Los Angeles, makes me wanna wrap you in my arms,” the band croons in their lead single off of Nothing Is Wrong, “Time Spent in Los Angeles.” The song has so much vintage flavor you would swear it was an unreleased Neil Young track from his days of prime.

So if you find yourself perusing for new, smart, and emotionally charged music this fall, give Dawes a chance. I promise they’ll have your foot tapping one minute in. And if you can, be sure to catch the boys on tour now with Blitzen Trapper.

SARA BAREILLES PLAYS CENTRAL PARK (CONCERT REVIEW)

2011-09-01T07:12:00.000-07:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

I’ve been to quite a few concerts this summer and looking back, it’s funny to think about the differences in the crowds.

At Britney Spears, there were gay men in glittery eyeshadow and booty shorts all around me. At Jack’s Mannequin and Guster, the audience consisted of suburban white kids with backwards baseball caps, flip-flops and far too many popped collars. And at Sara Bareilles’ sold out show last night at Central Park’s outdoor Rumsey Playfield venue, the crowd was comprised entirely of hipsters in thrift store-purchased 500 Days of Summer-inspired floral print dresses and PBR-stained moccasins.

“How many of you are you listening to the show outside of the venue?” Sara yelled into her microphone. “This one’s for you!” she proclaimed as she started beating her tambourine and eased into an immaculate cover of Mumford and Sons’ “Little Lion Man.”

The experience of a Sara Bareilles show is unlike any other concert I’ve been to. This is of course in large part due to the fact that Bareilles is a hypnotist of sorts who is able to manipulate the full spectrum of her audience’s emotions. While interacting with the crowd, she bursts with wit, sarcasm and dry humor. But when she breaks into song, her lyrics tell agonizing stories of loss and pain.

For example: one minute Sara will be singing the devastating “Breathe Again” (you know, the song that pretends its orchestration is not a carbon copy of the Titanic score), and the next minute she’ll be introducing what’s on deck by saying, “This song’s for those assholes who think they’re better than you. The ones who are like, ‘oh Sara, you drink too much,’ and you’re just like ‘FUCK YOU, MAN!’” Oh, and if you’re wondering what “this song” she’s referring to is, it’s “Basketcase” – a ballad with lyrics raw enough to be served as a tartare. Talk about emotional rollercoaster. Geesh.

But don’t get me wrong. Not all of Sara’s songs will have you reaching for razor blades. Throughout the duration of her 90-minute set, she sprinkled in animated upbeat tracks like the bouncy “Uncharted” the anthem-of-spontaneous-living, “Vegas,” and a funky cover of Amy Winehouse’s “Valerie.” She also played bluesy-reworked versions of “Come Round Soon” and “Bottle It Up,” which enhanced the songs’ jazz undertones and flared them into smoky nightclub tunes to puff your cigar to on the dimly lit set of your own personal noir film.

During her acapella performance of “Gravity,” Sara allowed her truly stunning voice to take center stage. Even the drunk dude behind me (who was later escorted away by security during “Love Song” for being too belligerent…seriously) found a way to stop falling on strangers and be moved by Sara’s hauntingly beautiful voice. Sara really has the type of major pipes that few other contemporary female singer/songwriters can rival.

As part of her encore, Sara played a new track by the title, “Beautiful Girl.” Inspired by the tough experiences that some younger girls in her family are currently facing (as well as her own former issues), the song found the chanteuse plucking away at her ukulele with Jason Mraz-ish fervor.

While the message of “Beautiful Girl” is very much on par with the theme of self-empowerment that’s taken over the charts recently (i.e. P!nk’s “Fuckin’ Perfect” and Selena Gomez’ “Who Says”), its lyrics make “Firework” fizzle out and completely abort “Born This Way.”

“So before you trade in your summer skin for those high heel shoes to make him want to be with you, let me remind you one more time that just maybe you’re beautiful, but you can’t see / So why don’t you just trust me they’ll see it too, you beautiful girl, you?” Sara gorgeously sang. Could a new album already be in the works?

To close the show, Sara played “Let The Rain,” my personal favorite track off of her #1 album, last fall’s Kaleidoscope Heart. If you haven’t heard this song, open the iTunes store and buy it right now. Seriously. If you don’t like it, then I think you and I should see other people.

And if you can, be sure to catch Sara on the remainder of her fall tour, now through the end of October. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Originally published on MuuMuse

The Veronicas Premiere Tracks off of Upcoming Album at Los Angeles Show

2011-08-22T21:56:00.000-07:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

This past Thursday, the West Coast was given a gift of epic proportions. The Veronicas, Australia’s superstar female twin pop duo, performed a one-night only exclusive event at The Viper Room in Los Angeles to showcase songs from their eagerly anticipated upcoming album.

Best known in the United States for their singles “Untouched” and “4Ever,” The Veronicas played to a sold out crowd of fans dying for a taste of the girls’ new material.

While I was unable to attend the show (due to a rude case of “I live in New York and can’t afford airfare”), watching fan videos posted online after the concert got me hyped for the new record in borderline unhealthy ways.

The Veronicas slay harmonies unlike any other pop act currently out there. The first time I heard them sing live (with their AOL Sessions acoustic version of “Heavily Broken”), I was literally reaching for Q-Tips to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating what I was hearing.

Lisa and Jess’ voices blend like your two favorite desserts coming together to create one ultimate sweet indulgence that makes everything else you’ve ever tasted seem completely flavorless. Just listen to the stripped-down version of “Untouched.” Upon first hearing the key change in that song, I actually thought I was going to need to be pushed to the top of the heart donor recipient list.

In “Let Me Out,” one of the new (and my personal favorite) tracks that was debuted at The Viper Room, the girls’ unmatched harmony skills take front and center. “I’m making it easy for you to go leave me, just let me out,” they sing. As Lisa croons the song’s high melody, she is accompanied by Jess’ sultry alto harmony – creating an emotionally charged chorus that snips your heartstrings in half.

Lisa’s vocals carry the pained lyrics of the song with raw pleas of desperation. You don’t even need to listen to the words of the song to hear the hurt in her voice and know that she’s singing about unrequited love. And as Lisa tugs at your tearducts, Jess strums along on the acoustic guitar before seamlessly jumping up an octave and taking over the chorus of what is the girls’ most vulnerable song to date.

Sidenote about Jess: She’s pretty much the most bad-ass chick in the game. With her slicked back new platinum hairdo and elegant little black dress tightly pressed against her slender, tattooed-all-over body, she’s a bonafide supermodel. Specifically, the hardcore type of femme fatale supermodel from a Bret Easton Ellis novel with an unquenchable thirst for danger. She’s friends with Courtney Love and is dating Billy Corgan from The Smashing Pumpkins. She’s the petite girl with lungs of steel that can do anything from belt gorgeous mezzo-soprano notes to emo-scream like she’s starting an Atreyu cover band. So naturally, she’s the one with the electric guitar strapped across her chest.

The Veronicas also premiered “Cold,” the song that Lisa stated was “probably our favorite song we’ve ever written.” The lyrics, the girls described, were born out of a writing exercise in which they wrote monologues to their ex-lovers. The result is a song that mixes sorrow and anger in an almost scarily spot-on way.

The verses of “Cold” are comprised of rhythmic spoken-word (similar to the Hook Me Up bonus track, “Insomnia”) before unleashing into a soaring rock chorus that evokes memories of early Evanescence. “And I’m dying here and I’m crying over you and I remember, but now you make me shiver, you’re so cold,” the girls sing over the song’s dark instrumentation.

Other songs that The Veronicas debuted included the upbeat “Dead Cool,” a track that could have easily fit on Muse’s latest album. “Baby, I’m Ready” blurs the line between pop and grunge rock that the girls have been dancing on since the release of their debut album. Between its catchy chorus and pop/rock instrumentation, “My Best Mistake” might be the radio smash the girls need to permanently break the American market in the way they deserve. And their flawless cover of Sonny & Cher’s “Bang Bang” revitalizes an otherwise cheesy song into a twisted and contemporary anthem of betrayal.

While a release date for the album has yet to be set, the fact that The Veronicas are starting to perform songs off of it gives me hope that the wait won’t be much longer. But in the meantime, I’m praying to all things holy and Australian that the girls will decide to do a showcase of the new material in New York. And soon.

Judging by the lyrical content of the songs premiered at The Viper Room, I think it’s a pretty safe assumption to say that The Veronicas have one explosive breakup album on the horizon. And if these songs prove anything, it’s that hell hath no fury like a Veronica scorned.

Originally published on MuuMuse

And a very special thank you to The Veronicas for the Twitter love of this review!

That Time Katy Perry Tried To Take Missy Elliott Down With Her

2011-08-07T21:44:00.000-07:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

When Jewel released “Intuition” back in 2003, I remember thinking to myself “that’s it. This is the end of pop. Nobody will ever come out with music worse than this.” The joke was of course on me when Katy Perry hit the scene a few years later.

To date, Katy has spawned five #1 singles from her sophomore album, last summer’s “Teenage Dream.” Why? Because America is tone deaf and apparently undergoing a nation-wide labotomy.

Sidenote: The last time an artist had five consecutive #1 singles off of one album was Michael Jackson with his record, “Bad.” The fact that now Katy Perry ties this record makes me wonder: maybe the Rapture is still coming after all?

Truthfully, the lyrics of this song make last Friday night sound pretty terrible. I mean think about how much debt she must be in after it. She maxed her credit card, got her car towed, ripped her dress, will definitely need a few STD tests (she “sings” about sleeping with three different people throughout the song) and probably will need to bail herself out of jail if any cops follow through with that looming arrest warrant.

So what’s Katy’s brilliant solution? “Do it all again.” Oh. Okay. Glad you have the ability to learn from your actions. You’re not an addict or anything.

"My husband, who's been clean and sober for almost nine years, you know, I -- I see him working a program and working on himself every single day,” Katy recently said to ABC News. “And I see how much work it takes to be clean and sober when you have, you know, addiction on your hands.”

Being the supportive and understanding wife that she is, Katy is doing everything in her power to make as much money as possible off of her song promoting binge-drinking. Therefore, the official remix of this moving and inspirational piece of art has just hit iTunes. And speaking of 2003, it features Missy Elliott.

I’ve been a Missy Elliott fan since the glory days of popping my booty on the middle school dancefloor to “One Minute Man” and “Gossip Folks” (I had a lot of friends back then). News of her alleged comeback genuinely excited me.

But when I heard that Missy would be returning to the scene via an appearance on a remix to a Katy Perry song, it became clear to me that her management team has still not learned how to say “no” (like, c’mon – did ANYONE really think that “Car Wash” would do well?).

The same way that Maroon 5’s “Moves Like Jaggar” did not know how to properly feature Christina Aguilera, the remix for “Last Friday Night” does not nearly utilize Missy enough. She only appears briefly to spit some opening rhymes and returns for a hot second on the song’s bridge. But maybe that’s actually a blessing in disguise considering production auto-tuned her to death until all that was left was a Ke$ha-esque robot in the shell of where a hip hop icon once stood.

It’s almost as though throwing Missy Elliott onto this song is a cruel joke. Why tarnish her reputation like that? It’s not like Da Brat was too busy to put down the box of Entemann’s and knock out a verse in the studio.

Lyrically, the song’s content feels very juvenile for Missy to be attaching herself to. Its thesis is basically that if you’re famous, it’s okay to break the law because you won’t actually get into trouble and why bother wasting your brain cells on memories when there’s the internet to remind you how much fun you had?

"It's a Friday night now here we go/ I ain't no stripper but I work the pole/ Bartender can you pour some more/ And I'm so tipsy coming out the club,” Missy raps as the song begins, adding her own blacked out antics to Katy’s. Call me crazy, but that doesn’t seem like a 40-year-old musician’s choice subject matter.

There is a serious lack of mainstream female hip hop artists right now. Sure Nicki Minaj is guest-featured doing her Sybil impressions on every other person’s songs and Lil’ Kim is releasing mix tapes from prison, but there hasn’t been a woman to really resonate culturally at large in that genre since Missy went on hiatus. The door was literally wide open for her to come back and dominate again.

The fact that Missy is belittling herself to overly auto-tuned rent-a-rapper status is insulting to her legacy. This is after all, the same woman who brought us generational classics like “Get Ur Freak On,” “Work It” and “Lose Control.” Why risk throwing that away just to make some extra coin for chanting “T.G.I.F.” over and over again?

When Mariah Carey discovered hip hop, it was all downhill from there. I believe that it is our civic duty to make sure Missy Elliott’s newfound fascination for contemporary club-pop doesn’t lead her down this same path of self-destruction. Therefore, I believe we would all benefit from thinking of the “Last Friday Night” remix as a cry for help and call to arms. Kill the beast!

Snow Patrol Shifts Gears With New Album’s Lead Single, “Called Out In The Dark”

2011-08-02T18:38:00.000-07:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

When Snow Patrol released “Just Say Yes,” the lead single off of their first career retrospective album, many fans and critics responded negatively to the new direction the band was going in.

The song had the band layering in a heavy dose of radio-friendly electronica influences, adding a much more mainstream element to their trademark adult-contemporary sound.

“Where Keane and Peñate actually succeeded in introducing a new feel to their sound, Snow Patrol have merely grafted on a few floaty keys and hoped for the best,” said Mayer Nissim of Digital Spy about the song. “There’s no spark, no OOMPH, and worst of all, no fun,” wrote Fraser McAlpine of the BBC. Ouch.

While initially thrown off by “Just Say Yes,” I came to think that it was actually a very natural musical evolution for Snow Patrol. The song was the quintessential dance/rock hybrid, blending just enough ingredients from both genres to complete a near-flawless recipe.

This fall, Snow Patrol will release their sixth studio album, Fallen Empires. The record’s lead single, “Called Out In The Dark,” premiered last week on BBC Radio 1 and will be officially released to iTunes as part of an as-of-yet-untitled EP on September 4th.

In the vein of “Just Say Yes,” “Called Out In The Dark” finds Snow Patrol expanding their repertoire and infusing their signature melancholy rock sound with generous portions of synth-pop and dance beats. For all of my fellow indie lovers out there, think of this stylistic expansion as a (slightly less extreme) version of how Discovery reworked Ra Ra Riot and Vampire Weekend’s sounds on LP1.

Since the release of “Called Out In The Dark,” the blogosphere reception has been divided down the middle. Some are praising Snow Patrol for taking risks while others are accusing of them of selling out and just trying to reclaim the commercial success they once tasted with “Chasing Cars.”

The truth is, however, that there is no room for artistic growth if musicians don’t experiment in the studio. I respect that the band is expanding their range. After all, nobody wants to make the same record twice, right? Just take a look at Justin Vernon (aka Bon Iver). His first album was a soft, acoustically driven masterpiece. This year, he released his second album, which was a complete musical departure. And yet, the record received rave reviews from both fans and critics alike. My point? Sometimes it’s okay to not play on the safe side.

“And while the heavens, they opened up / Like arms of dazzling gold / With our rain washed histories / Well they do not need to be told,” lead vocalist Gary Lightbody sings, kicking off a crescendo of synethizers and percussion that pave the way to the climactic chorus. Musically, Snow Patrol may have undergone some changes – but lyrically, they’re the same doleful band behind “Run” and “Set The Fire To The Third Bar.”

As far as lead singles go, “Called Out In The Dark” is a smart choice for the band. It’s a seemingly perfect formula for a late summer hit: the melding together of their alternative soft rock with enough synthesizers to easily boom through a stadium theater. The only question that remains now is will enough people get on board with Snow Patrol’s new musical direction to actually fill that stadium?

I’ve been a huge, huge Snow Patrol fan for years. Ever since it was announced, Fallen Empires has been one of my most anticipated record releases of 2011. With “Called Out In The Dark”, the band has released a brilliant slice of alternative synth-pop. And personally, I can’t wait for a full album’s worth of this stuff.

Originally published on MuuMuse

Interview with Lelia Broussard

2011-07-26T18:17:00.000-07:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

A few years ago, you could take a walk down to Bleecker Street and catch a show at a small venue called The Bitter End featuring back to back performances from two of Manhattan’s most up-and-coming artists: Stefani Germanotta and Lelia Broussard.

One would ultimately ask Cher to hold her meat purse and get blasted by Bette Midler for coming out on stage dressed as a mermaid in a wheelchair, while the other would be a final contender to be the first unsigned artist to grace the cover of Rolling Stone magazine.

On August 2nd, Rolling Stone will announce which unsigned artist will be the first to make the magazine’s cover – and the contest has narrowed its way down to two finalists. Will alt-rock quartet The Sheepdogs win or will the quirky Lelia flash her signature facial-warpaint on the most esteemed music journal in the biz?

If anyone is close to stealing Florence Welch’s crown as queen of the indie chanteuses, it’s Lelia Broussard. Ever since her most recent album, Masquerade, came out in November of last year, Lelia has exploded onto the scene. No, really. I challenge you to find a coffee shop, book store, or Forever 21 that doesn’t have her song “Satellite” (written about “a sad robot in love”) on constant loop.

On August 24th, Lelia will be performing a very special one-stop show at the Highline Ballroom in New York. I caught up with Lelia to talk about what to expect from the show, how the Rolling Stone contest has impacted her life, which one of the Spice Girls she most identifies with, and more.

If you win the Rolling Stone competition, what would your ideal cover look like? Any specific photo-shoot themes or photographers you’re envisioning working with?

I can’t give it away! But I like the classic looking covers they do.

What has been the most rewarding part of being involved in this Rolling Stone competition? What has been the biggest change since it launched?

Playing Bonnaroo was really incredible. Biggest change is my new DIVA attitude … just kidding.

You wrote your first song about your orthodontist when you were very young. Why was he so terrible that it birthed this form of self-expression in you?

He told me boys wouldn’t want to look at me if I got my braces off a few months early. Quite the douche.

Tell me about the hipster bitch who inspired “Hipster Bitch”?

Haha! She’s actually a really cool lady. But I met her in a not so fun situation for me.

You’ve become known for wearing lots of eclectic face paint during your shows. What does the face paint represent to you and why has it become such a trademark part of your live sets?

My album is called Masquerade and I wanted to sort of create a visual element to go along with that. I also love David Bowie and glam rock, so it’s definitely partly inspired by that.

What’s the most bizarre gift a fan has ever given you?

Assorted screws, nuts, bolts, and a smelly T-shirt. No joke.

As an unsigned artist, what do you think the benefits of not being tied down to a major record label are? What are the downsides?

There are a whole lot of options for independent artists now. I’ve been doing it myself for quite awhile. It’s nice to have total control of everything you’re doing. But the downside is not having enough money. Also that there are not enough hours in the day to do everything you need. It really all depends on what your goals are and what the deal is like. Signing to a major label is certainly not the be-all-end-all.

What is your favorite song to perform live and why?

“Something True” is a fun one. I usually come out in the crowd with my band and we do a little bit of a different arrangement than what’s on the record.

If you were a Spice Girl, would you be Posh, Ginger, Baby, Scary, or Sporty? Why?

Sporty, because she can sing.

You have found a lot of success through the Internet. Between tons of plays on MySpace and an insane amount of views on YouTube, you’ve become quite the viral indie phenomenon. What’s the best advice you have for a new artist that’s trying to get their stuff out there?

Good music will promote itself.

You’ve divided the past few years between Los Angeles and New York. So here comes the tough question: do you consider yourself more of an East Coast or West Coast girl now?

I moved to LA about three years ago but have recently moved back to New York. I love it here so much. New York is more my speed.

Have you begun the process of writing and/or recording a follow-up album to Masquerade yet?

I’m always working on new music! The winner of the Rolling Stone contest will release an EP so I’m all ready for that.

What surprises can your fans look forward to at your New York show at the Highline Ballroom on August 24th? Are you planning on announcing a full tour in the near future?

Lots of rock! My good friends Greg Holden and Allison Weiss are opening for me that night so we’ll all do something together, I’m sure. But I definitely will be announcing a fall tour soon! Stay tuned!

Originally published on MuuMuse

KELLY CLARKSON CHANNELS HER "DARK SIDE" ON LATEST LEAK

2011-07-20T21:30:00.000-07:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

I like my Kelly Clarkson the way French people like their steak: raw, bloody, and vulnerable.

Let’s face it: she releases her best material when Clive Davis isn’t acting like Mary fucking Poppins and trying to force spoonfuls of sugar down her throat. He is to her what Sam Lutfi was to Britney Spears or what Kalteen bars were to Regina George: the catalyst for an all around disconnect from personal reality (with a side of dramatic weight gain).

Kelly’s greatest work will unarguably forever be her third studio album, My December (I say unarguably because if you even try to argue this with me, just know that you’ll go down faster than Bionic’s album sales). That record featured truly heart-wrenching, beautiful and honest tracks like “Maybe” and “Sober,” dark and hurt songs like “Haunted” and “Irvine,” and the vindictively delicious slash-your-ex’s-tires-anthem “Never Again.”

The entire album was (while not commercially viable) completely flawless. Why? Because Kelly had full artistic control. It was her baby. The aural transcript of her attempting to cope with and move past the tremendous suffering her heart had been through.

Then, like a venomous spider, RCA Music Group CEO Clive Davis came crawling around to suck the life out of Kelly’s artistic integrity. Since My December did not perform nearly as well as Kelly’s previous album (2004’s Breakaway), he had her relinquish her reigns of control and tried to revamp her image to be more of a sugarcoated and generic bubblegum pop star.

The result? The spitefully titled All I Ever Wanted, featuring such inauthentic tracks as the Katy Perry-written “I Do Not Hook Up” and Beyonce’s horcrux, “Already Gone”. Even the album artwork was a slap in the face to Kelly. Gone was the lady in the red dress perched on a Tim Burton-esque staircase and in her place was the sad-eyed product of a brutal industry, posing in a leather jacket amidst a recycled backdrop from Britney’s Blackout album.

But then something miraculous happened. Tracks and demos from Kelly’s upcoming fifth album (set to be released this fall) started leaking online. Songs like “Let Me Down” and “I Forgive You” had Kelly returning to the dirty grunge of My December while songs like “What Doesn’t Kill You” blended that sound with the commercial dance-pop elements of her more mainstream hits like “My Life Would Suck Without You.” Could it be that Kelly’s new record will finally be a happy merging of her white and black swans?

It seems like all the signs are pointing to yes. The strongest example of this comes in the form of the leaks’ strongest track, “Dark Side.” The song opens with a soft jewelry box introduction, followed by the entrance of Kelly’s subdued vocals. This seemingly mid-tempo number, however, takes a sharp turn as it reaches its fast-paced, rocking, power-pop chorus.

“Everybody’s got a dark side / Do you love me? / Can you love mine? / Nobody’s a picture perfect/ But we’re worth it/ You know that we’re worth it / Will you love me / Even with my dark side?” Kelly belts over slick guitar riffs, pounding percussion and the slightest pulse of dance beats.

Lyrically, “Dark Side” is reminiscent of previous gems in Kelly’s repertoire such as “Can I Have A Kiss,” “Empty As I Am” and “Don’t” – all of which are self-aware songs about her looking for someone to love her despite her flaws. Musically, the track is composed of the soaring and triumphant pop/rock that made songs like “Since U Been Gone” and “Behind These Hazel Eyes” such standout smashes.

With “Dark Side,” it seems like divided Kelly-aholics can finally meet halfway. On one side, you can cry, rip up old pictures of an ex and scream-sing until your face is an unnatural shade of red. While on the other side, you can throw your hands up in the air and make like Paula Abdul by dancing like there’s no tomorrow. For the first time, it’s a win/win for both sides of the Clarkstan spectrum.

If the songs that have surfaced online are truly an indication of the direction Kelly Clarkson’s next album is going in, I am nothing but confident that it will be the best release of the year (yeah, I went there). While I understand that My December will never happen again, I believe that “Dark Side” is the closest we’ll ever get to it – and that makes it easily the most refreshing and exciting song I’ve heard in months.

Originally published on MuuMuse

WHAT IF POPSTARS WERE VIDEO GAMES?

2011-07-14T14:11:00.000-07:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

Musicians are always being compared to one another. If Lady GaGa has a new single, it has to immediately be put in a fighting rink against Britney Spears’ latest single. If Kanye West is releasing an album one day, then 50 Cent has to release his album that day too to try to prove himself. My point? It’s unnecessary.

Instead of pitting artists against one another, I think we should all view them in comparison to something that makes far more sense … like video games. For example:

Joe Jonas as Major League Baseball 2K11

Let’s be honest: no matter how masculine you try to pretend like you are, you’re still wearing a jock strap under your tight pants while you play with phallic objects and shower in a locker room with other men.

Christina Aguilera as Epic Mickey

In theory, this sounds like it could be great. After all, the concept involves lavish costumes and squeaky voices ripping off the past and trying to pass it off as original. But the final product is overly convoluted and stuffed with obstacles that make it nothing short of an epic flop.

Britney Spears as Mario Kart

Granted, this is not the most complicated game. But at the same time, it’s a guaranteed crowd pleaser, even if people seem apprehensive about it at first. And no matter how many Koopa shells (or Cheetohs) get flung in your direction, you know that you won’t be disappointed when you ultimately cross the finish line.

Vanessa Hudgens as Chicken Riot

I’m sorry but … does anybody know this even existed?

Ashlee Simpson as Avatar: The Game

It’s the classic story of the sad spin-off to a pre-established successful franchise that people buy out of brand loyalty but never touch again after storing it in the attic when they’re done using it the first time.

Kelly Clarkson as Arkham Asylum

It’s dark, twisted, and full of surprises. And just when you think you have it figured out and can see a glimpse of hope, a demon from your past comes back to haunt and torture you in the most painful ways.

Whitney Houston as every Sonic The Hedgehog game after the ‘90s

A sad resurggence of lost glory gasping for a breath of contemporary relevance. Like Tyra, we were all rooting for you. But noooooooooo, you just had to go and take something great and ruin it by making it incredibly boring.

Miley Cyrus as The Lion King for Super Nintendo

At first glance, you would assume this is child-friendly. Well, you’d be very mistaken. Full of bloodthirsty predators (paparazzi), overprotective parents (Billy Ray), bursts of rebellion (an Annie Liebowitz-shot Vanity Fair cover), jungle exploration (“salvia”), and an eventual spurt of maturity (Can’t Be Tamed), this game beats the innocence straight out of any Southern beast who plays it.

Danity Kane as Donkey Kong

And it’s not just because of the initials. The second you lose Diddy, you lose the game.

Adele as The Legend of Zelda

Stunning, beautiful, and complex, this game makes you think more than the majority of the rest of what’s out there do. Plus the end result is far more satisfying.

New Kids on the Block/Backstreet Boys super-group as Lego: Star Wars

Aw. It’s cute how hard you’re trying.

Jennifer Lopez as Mega Man
Whenever people hear that it’s coming back, it’s met with a mix of a lot of excitement and skepticism. But after one week on the shelves, it’s already forgotten about.

Ke$ha as Raving Rabbids

Because you can only really experience the brilliance of it when you’re high.

Agree? Disagree? Have some more comparisons you thought of? Share in the comments section below!

Zooey Deschanelegend Frolics Through the Hundred Acre Wood

2011-07-13T19:16:00.000-07:00

by ALEX NAGORSKI

Remember when Tom Cruise jumped up and down on Oprah’s couch about how much he loved Joey Potter (er ... sorry, Katie Holmes)? Well, had that not been a meticulously crafted PR stunt, it would have actually been really endearing. Endearing in that so-elated-that-of-course-you’ll-act-like-a-baboon-on-Oprah’s-furniture kind of way.

Well, imagine Williamsburg on the day that it was announced that Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward were collaborating again – this time for the soundtrack to Disney’s new film adaptation of Winnie The Pooh. So many ecstatic hipsters. So much broken eco-friendly thrift store furniture.

Zooey is to hipsters as Jesus is to Catholics or as Christina Aguilera is to herself. Disney’s decision to select her as the vocal muse for arguably their most nostalgic film to date (I dare you to tell me you didn’t tear up during that trailer) was brilliant. Not only because of her revered status among the adults who have so many childhood memories associated with the Winnie The Pooh franchise, but also because of her new-wave vintage sound.

In this new Pooh film, Disney has gone the opposite route than it has with its recent releases. Instead of creating an entirely CGI world like in Tangled, Winnie The Pooh is a return to classic Disney: 2D animation and music that doesn’t sound like a failed American Idol winner’s debut ballad. Who better than to provide the sound for this reverting to old-school agenda than Zooey, the reincarnation of 60’s female pop?

Upon first hearing Zooey’s take on the classic Pooh theme, I was overtaken by that warm, fuzzy feeling that you get when you’re in a play-pit with multiple puppies or when you realize you’re next to Michael Fassbender at a urinal and can take a sneak peek. To hear Zooey’s gentle alto voice singing “tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff” is like a spoonful of honey in itself. Crack-infused, smooth, delicious honey.

For the majority of the tracks, Zooey merely provides rich background vocals. Her little doo-wops and scooby-doo-bops create a near flawless harmony with the film’s bouncy and sunshine-tinged score.
Zooey and M. Ward also contribute an original song, “So Long.” Interestingly enough, the duo don’t cite the song under their band’s name (She & Him), but rather credit themselves eponymously.

“So Long” has all the essential ingredients of a typical She & Him song; a blend of indie surf rock with lo-fi ‘60s pop. Throw in the sugarcoated, cutesy and kid-friendly lyrics (“Well I could be the blossom / And you could be the bee / And then I could call you honey”), and you have the perfect new theme for the film.

Now, I’m not saying that I made sure I was up at midnight on Tuesday when the soundtrack came out on iTunes so I could buy it as soon as it was released. I’m also not saying that I listened to it while cuddling with a stuffed Eeyore in my bed before falling asleep. I’m also definitely not saying that I teared up. But HYPOTHETICALLY, if any of these things were true, it would mean that Zooey hit a home-run with her contributions to this movie.

Moral of the story: Zooey is the poo(h). So take a whiff. And don’t forget to bring your ski masks to the theaters this weekend when you go see Winnie The Pooh. This way nobody will see you ugly-cry.

Originally published on MuuMuse

Michelle Williams Releases Buzz Single, “Love Gun”

2011-07-07T21:59:00.000-07:00

by Alex Nagorski

Yesterday was a big day for all of the ladies of Destiny’s Child.

Despite a flop (and totally misleading) single and mixed album reviews, Beyoncé’s latest record 4 premiered at the top of the Billboard album charts. Snippets of all the tracks on Kelly Rowland’s upcoming album Here I Am hit the interwebs. LeToya Luckett stayed at home petting her cats while Googling reasons to sue Mathew Knowles. And Michelle Williams released “Love Gun,” a buzz single in anticipation of her fourth solo record, slated to hit stores this fall.

If the Druski-produced “Love Gun” is truly an indication of the direction Michelle is going in, then her upcoming album is going to be nothing short of fiyah burnin’ on the dancefloor.

While Michelle flirted with dance/pop on her previous record, 2008’s Unexpected, “Love Gun” completely removes her from that raspy Fantasia-like R&B sound she often experimented with. Instead, she fully embraces her electro-pop side to kick off what’s expected to be a completely dance-oriented album.

Sidenote: Had former band member Kelly Rowland looked at how her previous solo attempts had been received (“When Love Takes Over,” “Commander”), she would have wisely gone the dance/pop route as well. Instead, those new, bland leaked clips left the six fans she had left drained with no motivation to even pretend to give her album a second listen. (See what I did there?)

As far as buzz singles go, nothing will ever be superior to Lindsay Lohan’s “Bossy.” (RIP Spirit In The Dark.) That being said, Michelle Williams truly serves up a refreshing dish of beats and sultry vocals that could have easily fit on Robyn’s Body Talk album.

In these David Guetta-over-Timbaland times we live in, “Love Gun” is far more mainstream and radio-ready than Michelle’s previous solo efforts. I wouldn’t be surprised if–for the first time since she did Beyonce’s back-ups–Michelle had a real Top 40 hit on her hands. Let’s just hope the rest of the album lives up to the bar she’s now raised for herself.

So to sum up: Beyonce = Rich but meh. Kelly Rowland = Just go home and try again. Michelle = YOU DO YOU, BABY. ALL ‘DEM OTHA BITCHES GETTIN’ SERVED.

Originally published on MuuMuse

From Bradley to Alex: A Live Review of Kelly Clarkson’s Latest Leak, “Let Me Down”

2011-07-06T19:51:00.000-07:00

By Bradley Stern and Alex Nagorski

Today, the full version of an as-of-yet unreleased Kelly Clarkson song surfaced online, entitled “Let Me Down.” It is off-the-charts amazing o’clock.

In lieu of typing out a full review of the newly leaked track, I now present our conversation in full (side references to Kat DeLuna have been edited out for decency’s sake.)

Brad: OH MY GOD THE NEW KELLY SONG.
Alex: I KNOW. Remember when you were little and you would wake up on your birthday and the world would just seem like a better place? That was me this morning when I heard the song.
B: I don’t remember that because I was drunk most of the time. But if I did, that sounds BEAUTIFUL.
A: I was like Kristen Wiig. I was so “friggin excited.”
B: The lyrics are literally everything. They are too real.
A: Because they’re emo! I’m so over all these self-empowering songs on the radio. Like we get it. Katy Perry thinks we’re all fireworks. Ke$ha says we R who we R. Lady GaGa claims we were born this way and Selena Gomez wants to know exactly who says we’re not perfect. It’s about time someone is bringing self-deprecation back to the radio so we can all start tweeting passive aggressive lyrics again without reusing old material.
B: My AIM status has never been more thrilled.
A: FUN GAME ALERT: Guess how many 16-year-old girls (and 24-year-old gay men) are going to make the line, “The funny thing about forever is it comes with a side of never” their Facebook status today.
B: ….I think I tweeted that earlier. Or at least, it was planned.
A: Oh, one of those “timed tweets”?
B: Like, actually.
A: You’re … pretty.
B: LOOK, MAXIMUM IMPACT. WAIT. Can we talk about the production?
A: You mean flawless production?
B: I feel like it’s a return to My December. The beginning reminds me of “Yeah.”
A: Ugh, you KNOW how I feel about My December. A.K.A. The greatest pop album of all time. I agree though … it seems like more of a blend of Breakaway and My December than All I Ever Wanted was.
B: *All Clive Ever Wanted.
A: Because AIEW was like the sad slap in her face to try and make her be a pop star after My December flopped. Hence the mocking title and colorful album cover.
B: WAIT OH MY GOD AND THEN THIS PART: “IT’S NOT FAIR TO ME, ‘CAUSE I KNOW, I KNOWWWWWW”
A: No like when she hit that note, I actually felt my balls jump up into my stomach. Is that weird?
B: That’s probably something that should be looked at. I can ask Ciara. WAIT ALSO. This song has to be about Justin Guarini, right?
A: Obviously. It’s not at all about a secret lesbian lover. Neither was “Can I Have A Kiss.” And the fact that she brings up letters makes me think of “Never Again” so I immediately went into my happy place. But really though, if this song proves anything — it’s that she’s stopped taking her medicine and is back to being overly sensitive and bruised. Which for selfish reasons makes me ecstatic because that means the album will be amazing. Not that “I Want You” wasn’t cute, but …..
B: Yes. I sincerely hope she is bruised. No, but I seriously love this song so much. I keep hitting repeat. Other music literally doesn’t matter today.
A: Other music doesn’t EXIST today. And in other news, they can’t make Beyonce comparisons with this song because she’s not trying to reinvent the career of Des’ree with her “new” sound. Or really any day … until the new Veronicas single comes out …
B: I mean, the only obvious comparison I can draw is to Madonna‘s “Express Yourself.”
A: Yes. If you play them on top of each other, you’ll see they’re the exact same song.
B: EXACT.
A: But it’s okay because Kelly got Madonna‘s blessing. She told Jay Leno so.
B: I saw. She was wearing that tasteful meat bolero. WAIT BUT OKAY. I love that this is kind of spacey sounding too. It’s a little electronic underneath.
A: I just truly feel that it has what Teresa Guidice would call all the right “ingrediences” to be a huge summer hit for her. It’s perfect for crying and dancing at the time.
B: I wouldn’t know anything about that.
A: Need I remind you about the state you were in when Wynter Gordon played over the weekend …..
B: ALLERGIES.
A: This song is also like “Behind These Hazel Eyes” in that it’s up-tempo and catchy as hell but also so depressing at the same time. It’s the perfect expansion of the Clarkson hit formula.
B: YES. I wholeheartedly agree. She is literally perfect. What if this isn’t the single? That would be a mistake.
A: Yeah … the same “allergies” you had when Cassie, Kelly Rowland, and Willa Ford came on. You mess. I mean I feel as though it has to be. They wouldn’t have teased so many clips of a buzz single, would they? And she did say that her single was dropping in July … so why release a buzz single literally RIGHT before the single release?
B: Well, this could always just be a leak from the sessions. I don’t know that anyone official has acknowledged it.
A: I’m pretty sure it hasn’t been acknowledged yet …. but timing wise, it does make sense that this would be it. Or maybe it’s just a demo version? Kelly demos looooooove to make their way online.
B: Maybe. (DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?)
A: Yeah. (RIGHT BACK AT YOU!)
B: If it’s not the single, it’ll be the greatest pop injustice since Christina‘s “Woohoo” not hitting #1.
A: …… TOTALLY.
B: God, her breasts are as big as her face now.

Thank you for your time.

Originally published on MuuMuse

Ingrid Michaelson Releases New Song, “Spare Change”

2011-07-05T19:51:00.000-07:00

by Alex Nagorski

There was a period when Grey’s Anatomy debuted a new Ingrid Michaelson song during each year’s season finale.

Over the course of the show, Ingrid released multiple non-album tracks such as “Keep Breathing,” “Giving Up,” “Turn to Stone” and “All Love” to soundtrack the show. While each of these songs were gorgeous and different in their own way, the concept for each song was the same: They made you want to draw a candlelit bubblebath, guzzle a bottle of red, and sob until your tear ducts drained.

When Ingrid stopped being the musical muse of Grey’s season finales, I was worried. Was I really going to have to wait until the release of her next album to hear some new Ingrid tunes? And where was I going to get my emo-anthem-of-the-year fix?

Luckily, Lady Ingrid Immaculateson heard my prayers. Last week, as part of a summer sale in her official online store, she released the single “Spare Change.” Previously only available as part of the audiobook to Augusten Burroughs’ 2008 memoir A Wolf at the Table, this marks the first time the song has been made available for individual download.

“Spare Change” follows the formula of Ingrid’s Grey’s singles in that it’s a haunting ballad tinged with sadness and yearning. “I grew from you / Branches from a dying tree / But I could save you / If only you looked for me,” Ingrid croons in the song’s opening verses. Her delicately powerful vocals are backed by a melancholy piano underscore, evoking Joni Mitchell’s classic Blue album.

The song builds as Ingrid jumps an octave in the chorus, joined in by a violin and subtle percussion. Lyrically, Ingrid has always been a sneaky genius, using deceptively simple imagery to drive her metaphors – but by the time the song has ended, the elicited emotions have fully engulfed the listener. To compare herself to a piggy bank in “Spare Change,” Ingrid sings about feeling fragile, innocent, and used.

“You can’t break me / I’m a piggy bank on the floor / Watch all my spare change roll out the door / Watch all my spare change / Roll across the floor / Watching me through / Your glass door,” Ingrid sings, cutting into her lover.

It won’t be until this winter that Ingrid releases another full-length album and embarks on her next tour. I’m crossing my fingers for another buzz single or B-side release to hold me over. Until then, my mascara will keep running to “Spare Change.”

“Spare Change” is currently available exclusively at Ingrid’s official online store.

Originally published on MuuMuse

THE COMEDY OF THE SUMMER

2011-07-04T07:18:00.001-07:00

A review of "Horrible Bosses."
By Alex Nagorski

This is the summer of the R-rated comedy. Films like Bridesmaids and The Hangover: Part II not only raked in pretty sums on their opening weekends but are proving staying power on the box office charts. Bad Teacher opened to a solid $31 million, showing that America likes their humor to be raunchy, crude, and boundary-pushing. In a few weeks, the Justin Timberlake/Mila Kunis rom-com Friends With Benefits will be released. This film is surrounded by a lot of positive pre-release buzz as well as an unavoidable ad campaign smeared across every subway stop in Manhattan. Yet out of all of this summer’s R-rated comedies, none will make you laugh harder than Horrible Bosses.

Horrible Bosses tells the story of three friends (played by Jason Bateman, Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis) with the most insufferable, douchebag-iest, and inappropriate employers imaginable. Together, they decide to murder their bosses as part of a plan that not only would make their lives a hell of a lot easier, but also rid the world from what they believe are three living personifications of the anti-Christ.

Cheesy concept? Maybe so. But where Horrible Bosses really hits a homerun is how unapologetically over-the-top it is. Each actor meticulously plays a hyper-exaggerated version of their character, providing for a non-stop camp-fest. As a result, Horrible Bosses is a brilliant, foul-mouthed and hysterically dirty modern-day farce in the vein of genre masterpieces like Wet Hot American Summer and Drop Dead Gorgeous.

While all the actors did a phenomenal job in this film, the two true stand-out performances belong to Jennifer Aniston and Colin Farrell. Both of these actors stepped out of their comfort zones as brand new characters who are the complete opposites of any role they’ve ever previously played. Aniston is laugh-out-loud sensational as Charlie Day’s nymphomaniac and deranged dentist boss. “You ever see that show Gossip Girl?” she asks Day in her opening dialogue. “I fingered myself so hard to that Penn Badgley guy last night that I broke a nail.” Not a very Rachel Green-like thing to say now, is it? Especially when it’s right before she sedates a patient, pulls off his pants and starts talking to his penis.

Same goes for Farrell. Playing a coke-head so out of touch with reality is something that I never thought I’d see on screen until a Lindsay Lohan biopic came out. Yet Farrell nails the role of Bobby Pellitt so perfectly that you completely forget that you’re not actually watching a heartless, ninja-and-vagina obsessed party boy who only got to where he was due to nepotism. Kudos to both performers for stepping up to the plate and really bringing their A-games.

I also predict that Horrible Bosses will do for Charlie Day what Knocked Up did for Seth Rogan. After this performance, he is undoubtedly the comedy genre’s next “it” boy. Day is a comedic goldmine who has previously shown his chops in the TV series It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and a scene-stealing role in last year’s (underrated) film, Going The Distance. He was impossible not to laugh at every time he was on screen. Whether he was accidentally high on Farrell’s coke and singing The Ting Ting’s “That’s Not My Name” in his car or ultimately finding his boiling point with Aniston, Day showed some of the best character acting that’s been lacking from contemporary comedies.

All I’m saying is, hello MTV Movie Award Breakout Star (also known as the Oscar for actors not featured in holiday season-released period dramas).

I wouldn’t be surprised if Horrible Bosses follows in the footsteps of The Hangover and becomes a cult phenomenon. Both films feature the same dark and twisted humor intertwined with a series of misfortunate events that are almost so uncomfortable to watch that you want to turn away – but at the same time can’t because you’re loving every second of it. And while Horrible Bosses may not have any Mike Tyson cameos, Modern Family’s Julie Bowen raises the bar for brief guest-appearances with her cheeky portrayal of Kevin Spacey’s unfaithful wife.

When introducing Horrible Bosses at the pre-release screening I attended, director Seth Gordon expressed how proud he was of this film. And rightfully so. There may be quite a crop of gritty adult-geared comedies this summer, but if you really want to go see a movie that will make you laugh so hard that you’ll leave the theater with your abs feeling like you just did the P90X workout, then Horrible Bosses is the film for you. See it when it hits theaters July 8th.

Originally published on Crazytown Blog

CHILDHOOD REBOOTED

2011-06-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

By Alex Nagorski

This year, my two favorite shows as a child, Winnie The Pooh and The Muppets will be hitting the big screen with their own full length feature-film adaptations. Both films are sticking to eponymous titles in hopes of a re-launch of their franchises. Check out the trialers below!

Winnie The Pooh hits theaters on July 15th.

The Muppets hits theaters on Thanksgiving.

THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT

2011-06-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

A reaction to Meghan Cox Gurdon's ignorant article in the Wall Street Journal about contemporary Young Adult Fiction.
By Alex Nagorski

Recently, one of my friends asked me if I had read any good books lately. Immediately, I started gushing about The Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins. I picked up the first book out of curiosity based on a co-worker’s recommendation and immediately devoured the entire trilogy.

Set in a dystopian world ridden by poverty and famish, The Hunger Games tells the story of 16-year-old Katniss' struggle to survive during the Hunger Games -- an annual tradition set forth by the Capitol to punish its twelve districts for once attempting a rebellion. In these games, one male and one female are selected from each district to enter an arena where they must battle until there’s only one survivor left. Oh, and the entire thing is broadcast as reality television live to all the districts … who are forced to watch their children fight to the death.

The other two books see Katniss turn into the symbol of rebellion as she wages a war against the inhumanity of the Capitol. From a poor girl to the leader of an army, Katniss is a teenage girl who defies convention and works towards overthrowing the totalitarian regime oppressing her country.

When I explained this to my friend, her first reaction was, “isn’t that a little dark to be a young adult series?” I was so surprised to hear those words leave her lips that it took me a second to even react.

On June 4^th, The Wall Street Journal published an article by Meghan Cox Gurdon’s entitled “Darkness Too Visible.” The piece proclaimed that YA fiction was too dark and too destructive for today's teens. “If books show us the world, teen fiction can be like a hall of fun-house mirrors, constantly reflecting back hideously distorted portrayals of what life is,” Gurdon wrote. Um ... WHAT? The wold is a dark place, is it not?

Reading this article, I was as flabbergasted by Gurdon’s claims as I was by my friend who thought The Hunger Games was inappropriate for teens to be reading. These books are not about condoning the ugliness of the savage times we live in but rather aim to provide a sense of hope.

When reading The Hunger Games, I didn’t see it as a book about children being forced to kill one another. What I took away from it was a story of a girl who must rise above the brutality society is inflicting on her and her community. The series was a brilliant commentary on how bloodthirsty we are in what we define as entertainment. But most importantly, it was about sticking up for what you believe in and not succumbing to oppression. You’re really going to try to argue that this is not a message appropriate for today’s youth?

If that’s the case, then perhaps books like The Diary of Anne Frank, Lord of the Flies, and To Kill A Mockingbird should just all be banned from our school systems. After all, none of those books take place in a smiley world of rainbows, cupcakes and glitter. Yet they are still engrained into arguably every American middle schooler’s curriculum.

The point of these books is not to promote the Holocaust or racism, but to tell the stories of the heroes who were able to serve as inspirations and fight for their beliefs despite the obstaces they faced.

For Gurdon to be writing that books like The Hunger Games are too violent or brutal is actually insulting to today’s youth. These claims are stating that teenagers are so stupid and their brains are so easily skewed, that being exposed to harsh or ugly situations will permanently damage them. It is as though Gurdon is stating that anyone who reads Go Ask Alice will by default be psychologically damaged beyond repair simply because reading the book will make them aware of the meer existence of narcotics.

So what is her solution? Censorship. Gurdon’s argument is that pretending like brutality doesn’t exist will shield teenagers from the truths of the real world. Hell, let’s just have a book burning party! If nobody reads Scars, nobody will cut themselves, right? If nobody reads Shine, then hate crimes and sexual assault will never happen again, right?

The internet reaction to Gurdon’s article was tremendous. Most notable, a Twitter hashtag, #YAsaves, went viral by thousands of users who wrote about YA books that touched and sometimes even saved their lives.

Get a grip, Gurdon. Your claims that these types of books are harmful for today’s youth is nothing short of ignorant. Reading an account of an anorexic girl’s downward spiral is not meant to serve as a diet manual but rather to teach how damaging eating disorders are. We live in a time where suicide bombs and tsunamis dominate our news channels and Twitter feeds. Our teens aren’t shielded from the truth, whether it’s ugly or not. So what’s wrong with showing them the silver living?

The fact that Gurdon included two suggested lists of books for "young men" and "young women" is a whole different topic that I won't even begin to get into. But like, C'MON!

My friend ended up reading The Hunger Games series and loved it just as much as I did. We spent hours discussing the genius of the trilogy and how they are truly beautiful and inspirational books. I may be slightly older than the target audience of the novels, but if I were still in high school, I know that The Hunger Games would have had a tremendous impact on me.

So to Ms. Gurdon, you can have your beliefs about monitoring everything our children read. Hopefully if things go accordingly to your plan, the next generation will be a bunch of braindead clones unaware of the reality of the world we inhabit. Moron.

Originally published on Crazytown Blog

MY LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT KELLY CLARKSON

2011-06-06T09:16:00.000-07:00

A review of Kelly Clarkson's private benefit concert for Tupperware Brands' Confide & Conquer campaign.
By Alex Nagorski

“Scotty won?” Kelly Clarkson asked the crowd after fans checked their Twitter feeds during her performance on May 25th. “Oh. I was rooting for Lauren, but … Scotty’s good too,” she continued in a tone that hardly masked her disappointment.

Clarkson was of course was referring to the American Idol finale that was occurring simultaneously to her benefit concert for Tupperware Brands. The original Idol victor hit the stage for an event sponsoring Tupperware’s Confide & Conquer movement. An initiative designed to honor women around the world for the impact they have on their communities, the always-true-to-herself Clarkson was the perfect choice for an ambassador.

Closed off to the general public, the Confide & Conquer event was truly a night to remember. Occurring at New York City’s Highline Ballroom, the benefit was decorated with gorgeous shades of white and pink and filled with such guests as Ashanti and Gabourey Sidibe. Upon arriving on the red carpet, my party and I proceeded to a standing table at the very front of the stage. Waiters greeted us with hors d’oeuvres and specialty cocktails from the open bar. My inner Serena Van Der Woodsen would have it no other way. This was a life I could get very used to.

The curtain rose for Kelly at 9 pm sharp. Her 12-song set included some of her biggest hits like “Breakaway,” and “My Life Would Suck Without You,” mixed in with such fan-favorites as “How I Feel” and her cover of The White Stripes’ “Seven Nation Army.”

Over the past eight years, I’ve seen Kelly Clarkson on every tour she’s ever embarked on. Crazed fan? Perhaps. But never have I seen Kelly in such an intimate venue or been so close to the stage. My friends (the glorious Bradley Stern, Jon Aliaga, Alex Goldschmidt, and Jarett Wieselman) and I were literally no more than six feet from her the whole time she performed (hence all the close-ups in the pictures I took you see scattered throughout this post). That experience in itself was surreal. With every note she hit and guitar riff she belted over, Kelly proved that not only is she still a force to be reckoned with, but that (along with Adele), she’s hands down the best voice in the industry.

One of the things I love about Kelly Clarkson concerts is how much personality she injects into them. In between nearly each song, she spoke to the audience with her quirky sense of humor and cute Southern disposition. These conversations included everything from self-deprecating jokes about how depressing so much of her music is to disappointment over the rapture not happening to denying lesbian rumors to talking about wanting to be reborn as Beyonce … followed by her best boob-shaking Billboard Awards performance impression. She honestly could not have been any cuter.

Clarkson’s music not only serves as a portal of nostalgia for me, but also reminds me of what so much contemporary pop music is failing to do in her absence on the radio. I don’t remember the last time a song on the Top-40 was able to evoke the types of emotions I felt when she sang “Because Of You.” How many pop songs balance catchiness with raw, exposed, vulnerability the way “Behind These Hazel Eyes” does? And I dare you to name a better feel-good breakup anthem than “Since U Been Gone.” Just try. I promise you’ll fail.

It’s safe to say that between my scream-singing and jumping to songs like “Miss Independent” and “Walk Away,” I was voiceless, tired, and sweaty. But that didn’t even matter because my night ended in the most perfect way it could have: I got to meet Kelly. She took a picture with my friends and I as we told her how much fun the show was.

I resisted telling her that I almost got a snowflake tattoo to symbolize how much her album My December impacted my life or that despite her only have four albums out, I have over 200 songs of hers on my iPod (yes, that does include the From Justin To Kelly soundtrack, how dare you judge me?).

Look for Kelly’s (still untitled) new single release this July followed by a new album this fall and be sure to “like” Tupperware Brand’s Chain of Confidence page on Facebook. For every “like” they receive, they'll donate $1 to the Boys and Girls Club of America!

(Kelly, Me, Jon, Bradley and Alex)

Which was followed by this Twitter explosion:

Originally published on Crazytown Blog

COMING TO YOUR TV THIS FALL

2011-05-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

The top 5 new television shows coming in the 2011-2012 season that you need to watch.
By Alex Nagorski

1. The X Factor (FOX Wednesdays & Thursdays, 8 pm)

The UK’s ultimate reality singing competition is finally making it stateside. Guaranteeing the winner a $5 million recording contract, this show promises the largest prize ever in the history of reality TV. So how is it different than American Idol or The Voice? The X Factor divides its contestants into 4 groups: males from 12-15, females from 12-25, singers over 25, and vocal groups of any age.

Hosting the show will be Eden’s Crush/Pussycat Dolls front woman and failed solo artist Nicole Scherzinger (did you even know she officially released her umpteenth attempt at a lead single last week?) and model-turned-British TV personality Steve Jones. On the judges’ panel will be hit making songwriter and producer L.A. Reid, the man responsible for launching the careers of such musicians as Mariah Carey, Kanye West, Pink, Rihanna, and Justin Bieber. Joining him will be Cheryl Cole, otherwise thought of as the pop star known everywhere in the world except for America (but it looks like that’s about to change!). And last but not least, The X Factor reunites original Idol judges Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul.

2. Ringer (THE CW Tuesdays, 9 pm)

There was a while after Buffy ended that I was scared Sarah Michelle Gellar would never get any work that wasn’t a PG-13 remake of a cheesy Asian horror flick. Then she had to go stop acting for a while because she was “pregnant.” Like I get that you’re having a baby and all but why punish your fans? So rude.

Originally intended for CBS, Ringer reunites Sarah Michelle God-der with The CW, the network that was home to the first five seasons of Buffy. It looks like the perfect over-acted melodrama that you’ll secretly plan your night around while politely declining to go out because you “already made plans with another friend.”

3. Up All Night (NBC Wednesdays, 8 pm)

I personally feel that Christina Applegate is one of the most underrated female comedians around. She could totally be in the same league as Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Kristen Wiig if given the chance. I mean, hello! Her hysterical guest-starring role on Friends made for two of the best episodes of the entire series (yeah, I went there).

Hence, I could not be more excited for a new (non-Samantha Who) sitcom from her. ESPECIALLY since she’s being joined by Arrested Development star Will Arnett and SNL/Bridesmaids actress Maya Rudolph. While the storyline of this show hardly seems revolutionary, I have full faith that Up All Night will have the potential to join the rankings of Modern Family as one of the funniest shows on television this fall.

4. The New Girl (FOX Tuesdays, 9 pm)

Confession: I would totally go straight for Zooey Deschanel. Like, name someone cuter. I dare you. You can’t. It’s just not possible. Between her vintage dresses, sultry singing voice, quirky humor and girl-next-door bangs, she’s just the most adorable hipster goddess in the biz.

The New Girl looks as though it’s really going to launch Zooey to national mega-stardom. The trailer showcases her impeccable comedic chops and it’s hard to think that she won’t be getting film offers left and right after this show premieres. And the fact that it’s coming on directly after Glee, still one of the hottest shows on TV today, can do nothing but help kick it off as the “it” sitcom of next season.

5. The River (ABC Mid-Season)

If you know me at all, you know that I love horror movies. That being said, I’ve always been annoyed that horror is a genre that has yet to successfully transition out of movie theaters onto a smaller screen. Sure, it’s been attempted a few times, but I have yet to see a consistently frightening TV show that makes me feel the way a good horror movie does.

I’m hoping that’s all going to change with The River. While it’s not entirely a horror show, it has that same element of suspense and looming threat that all of the characters’ lives are constantly on the line. Executive produced by Steven Spielberg and directed by that dude who brought us Paranormal Activity, The River promises to be a smart, Lost meets Anaconda hybrid that will send chills up and down your spine every week. Count me in.

Originally published on Crazytown Blog

EXCLUSIVE CONTEST AND TICKET OFFER FOR OFF-BROADWAY'S SMASH NEW MUSICAL COMEDY, "LUCKY GUY”

2011-05-17T07:29:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, I held an exclusive contest to win tickets to see Broadway’s The Normal Heart. Today, I'm having another contest to win tickets for the Off-Broadway musical smash, Lucky Guy!

The Nashville-set Lucky Guy is a hysterical story of a group of All-Americans striving for the same goal: a gold hit record. An outrageous show full of lavish costumes and extravagant musical numbers that pay ode to countless genres, Lucky Guy is like Xanandu meets 9 To 5 … remixed and doused in glitter and whiskey by Ke$ha.

For me, watching Lucky Guy kind of felt like alternating Dolly Parton and Taylor Swift wigs, followed by lubing up a rainbow and sliding down it into a pile of rhinestone-dusted hay. Starring Emmy Award-winning Will & Grace alumn Leslie Jordan and Next To Normal star Kyle Dean Massey, Lucky Guy doesn’t ask and it doesn’t tell … but instead yee-haws through the loudest and sparkliest megaphone out there.

To win tickets, all you have to do is head on over to Crazytown Blog and answer the following question in the comments section of the post:

If you were to release a hit album, what would be the name of your debut single?

The winning answer will be selected this Thursday (05/19/11) and the winner will be given a pair of tickets to see Lucky Guy at The Little Shubert Theatre.

And if you don’t win, you can purchase tickets with a special Crazytown discounted offer! But act quickly, as the coupon expires this Thursday as well!

So what are you waiting for? Head on over to Crazytown now!

UPDATE: CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR CONTEST WINNER, DAN! THANK YOU TO ALL WHO PARTICIPATED AND GOOD LUCK TO DAN WITH THE RELEASE OF HIS CHART-TOPPING DEBUT SINGLE, "SMACK THAT BOOTY."

FIERCE AND FEELING MIGHTY

2011-05-16T08:32:00.000-07:00

A review of Kylie Minogue's "Aphrodite" tour.
By Alex Nagorski

Remember that level of Mario Kart called Rainbow Road? You know, the one where the track is just a massive rainbow with giant glittery obstacles for you to bypass? Well, imagine the player you’ve selected to use on this level is Princess Peach and the car you’ve chosen is a pink Barbie-esque Corvette to match your pretty princess dress and compliment your golden tiara. Every time the car turns, fairy dust comes out the end as you catch a star and sparkle harder than Edward Cullen on a Santa Barbara beach day. Now imagine that the game music is down and you’re playing while blasting the Burlesque soundtrack and are getting a pedicure from a naked Zac Efron and back rub from a nude Channing Tatum. Still following?

Well if you’re able to visualize all of this then it’s pretty safe assumption to think that what you’re imagining sounds like the gayest thing imaginable. Well guess again. Because compared to Kylie Minogue’s “Aphrodite” tour, that scenario is the motherfucking Superbowl and you’re scratching your balls with hands drenched in Dorito dust and Budweiser.

Kylie knows her audience. Like, I can’t emphasize this point enough. Girl knows her audience, more commonly referred to as “that army of drunk homosexual men.” I say this because upon entering the Hammerstein Ballroom for Kylie’s final New York stop on her “Aphrodite” world tour last Wednesday, I felt like I was mounting a pride parade float custom designed by Christian Siriano.

Greek columns framed the stage as the audience surrounded it to prepare to worship at the Temple Minogue. Screens in the background showed an undersea world full of flawlessly sculpted mermen, adding to the mythological ambiance the show was setting its audience up for. The lights dimmed and the crowd shrieked as Kylie emerged center stage, coming out of a golden shell looking fiercer than any Botticelli bombshell ever did.

Appropriately, Kylie opened the show with “Aphrodite,” the title track from her criminally underrated 2010 masterpiece of a pop album. As she descended down the stairs, followed by her two GaGa-esque backup singers and legion of hunky, half-naked male backup dancers, I immediately knew I was in for a night of epic proportions that would surely make my mother go to church to pray for my redemption.

Kylie is a true veteran of the industry. Although she may not be as recognized this side of the Atlantic, she’s been around just as long as Madonna and has tons and tons of hits. She blended older songs like “On A Night Like This” and “Spinning Around” perfectly with more contemporary smashes such as “Get Outta My Way” and "Can't Get You Out Of My Head” within her over two-hour set. Name any Kylie song you can think of. Chances are she performed it.

Visually, the show was stunning. During “Cupid Boy,” for instance, her dancers fell from ribbons in the ceiling, doing mid-air aerobics throughout the song … sort of like a softcore gay porn parody of Pink’s “Glitter In The Air” Grammy performance. Kylie changed costumes multiple times and would always re-enter the stage in a very dramatic fashion – like by popping up on a giant golden statue of Pegasus, the winged horse.

While her interactions with the audience were minimal, whenever Kylie did take a break to talk to the crowd she was never anything but cute and funny. Constantly using words like “fierce” and “fabulous,” she was humble when talking about the amazing reception her three-night stint in New York has been. Despite her status as a pop icon, Kylie never seemed anything but humble. Humble but self-aware. The type of woman you would want to sit down for a quite coffee date with but also someone you’d play dress up with while doing tequila shots off each other’s bodies after.

The “Aphrodite” tour was spectacular in every way. I honestly couldn’t have had a better time. It’s exactly what I think Britney’s upcoming “Femme Fatale” tour should be. Kylie is admittedly not a dancer. Therefore, despite the occasional dance break, she didn’t try to outdo herself and instead did flawless Tyra-esque struts and various other activities on stage. During Britney’s “Circus” tour, she tried too hard to give off the dancer impression. Here’s hoping she’ll take a page from Kylie’s book and find other things to do on stage while remaining entertaining and true to herself.

Kylie brought it hard with the "Aphrodite" tour. She may not be the household name in America that she is abroad, but girl owned the stage and had New York eating out of the palm of her hand. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect show to kick off my summer concert series.

Originally published on Crazytown Blog

THE GREATEST MUSICAL EVER WRITTEN

2011-05-10T10:47:00.000-07:00

Finally a piece of musical theater that will blow your mind.
By Alex Nagorski

I went to a small liberal arts school in Pennsylvania called Muhlenberg College. Ranked one of the top (non-conservatory) theater schools in the country (esscuuuse me as I pat my weave), it was full of more theater queens than your Grindr app on a Saturday night at The Ritz.

What this experience taught me is that 1) gays will harmonize to anything -- including spoken word tracks (like slam poetry ... or Ke$ha) and 2) more often that not, I loathe musical theater. Bat Boy this. Fiddler on the Roof that. Urinetown? Fucking shoot me. And don't even get me started on Oklahama.

However, Muhlenberg did also teach me that there is one musical that I absolutely adore (well maybe not so much Muhlenberg so much as my lovely stoner 'Berg friends). I'd describe it for you, but the entire thing is under 20 minutes and available on YouTube (thanks to the incarnation of the Messiah who recorded/posted it), so I think it's best if you experience it on your own. Therefore, without further ado, prepare to have your mind completely blown by the genius, madness, and brilliance of 1,000 Cats. And just think of the versatility you'll show the next time you audition if you prepare 32 bars of a robot cat solo. Just sayin' ...

Part One:

Part Two:

Originally published on Crazytown Blog

EXCLUSIVE CONTEST AND TICKET OFFER FOR BROADWAY'S "THE NORMAL HEART”

2011-04-26T05:00:00.000-07:00

You may remember a couple weeks back when I posted an exclusive contest and ticket offer for Crazytown readers for Broadway’s HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING. Well, the responses to that were so great that I'm doing it again!

This time around, I'm offering a Crazytown contest and discount opportunity for a chance to win a pair of tickets to the Broadway debut of Larry Kramer’s critically acclaimed play, THE NORMAL HEART. Nominated for three Drama League Awards (Distinguished Revival of a Play and Distinguished Performance by Joe Mantello and by John Benjamin Hickey), this extremely limited run is directed by Joel Grey and George C. Wolfe. And it only lasts for 96 performances … so don’t miss out on this amazing chance!

To enter to win two tickets, all you have to do is head on over to Crazytown Blog and answer the following question in the comments section of the post:

THE NORMAL HEART tackles the very serious theme of AIDS. Describe (in a few sentences) a time when going to the theater has opened your eyes to and/or educated you about a sociopolitical issue.

And don't worry if you don't win! Crazytown Blog also features an exclusive discount ticket offer!

UPDATE: CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR CONTEST WINNER, MICHAEL! THANK YOU TO ALL WHO PARTICIPATED AND KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED FOR ANOTHER SPECIAL CRAZYTOWN CONTEST COMING IN MAY!

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SCARY MOVIE?

2011-04-25T04:20:00.000-07:00

A review of SCREAM 4.
By Alex Nagorski

No movies defined my adolescent years like the original Scream trilogy. Well, except for maybe Cruel Intentions, but that was for completely different reasons (I dare you to name one person from my generation who doesn’t attribute their sexual awakening to the sight of Ryan Phillippe’s bare ass). Growing up, I wanted nothing more than to literally be Sidney Prescott. Why would I want to be the victim of a series of ruthless killers determined on destroying her life and murdering everyone she’s ever loved?

Easy. 1) She was really pretty, 2) She got to hang out with Monica from Friends, 3) She had all those movies made about her life (good morning, royalty checks!), and 4) I’d spent enough hours gorging on cupcakes and watching Buffy marathons to roundhouse kick the shit out of Ghostface if (s)he ever tried anything with me.

My obsession with these movies even translated into a 7^th grade school project. For my English class, we were supposed to write a short story about anything we liked. Very specific instructions, I know. So naturally, I wrote out my concept for Scream 4. My teacher made me stay after class one day and explained that I can’t just write a sequel to a movie and call it a short story. She told me that since none of the characters were from my own mind and I was basing what I wrote off of someone else’s work, I was plagiarizing.

In my story, Sidney ultimately snapped and became the killer – ending in a massive brawl involving a blowtorch, a mental hospital, and the heroic alliance of Gale Weathers with (surprise twist!) Sarah Michelle Gellar’s (dead) character from Scream 2. It’s brilliant, I know. My teacher made me resubmit a whole new story so instead I wrote about an innocent bunny who wanted to be an author, but couldn’t get anything published due to the harsh censorship in his neighborhood of the forest. True story.

So now that you understand my background and unnatural affiliation with these movies, you have no choice but to believe me when I say that (despire mediocre reviews and a lackluster opening weekend box office revenue) Scream 4 is the best film in the franchise after the first one. Literally throughout the entire movie, everyone at the packed midnight showing I was at was doing their best Brenda from Scary Movie impression and yelling at the screen the whole time. Finally, a Scream film actually followed through with its title again.

Scream 4 included everything a good Scream movie should have. An epic opening that will linger with you for days after you’ve seen the film, obnoxious self-aware commentary, killer humor, a cast of sexy up-and-comers, tons of movie references, and constant head spinning twists.

To be honest, I was very nervous about Scream 4, especially when I heard that writer Kevin Williamson dropped out and additional script re-writes were being done by the dude behind Scream 3. Originally, this made me think that Scream 4 was about as good of an idea as I Still Know Who Killed Me, Valentine Returns or Another House of Wax.

Luckily, however, I was very mistaken. The script was fantastic. Not only did it call for some of the most elaborate deaths and fucked up killer motives of the entire franchise, but the entire commentary on horror reboots and remakes was pure genius. The Scream films have never failed with their impeccable parodies of the genre they constantly redefine.

There’s not much that can be said about the film without giving things away. So let me just leave you with this. The movie will undoubtedly:

1. Make you laugh your ass off
2. Make you jump out of your seat
3. Give you the biggest hard-on of your life thanks to Hayden Panettiere
4. Have you write Courteney Cox a letter begging to quit the lip injections already before her Joan Rivers transformation is complete
5. Infiltrate all your thoughts for the following week

Convinced? Check out Scream 4, in theaters now.

Originally published on Crazytown Blog

POP ROYALTY BLOODBATH

2011-04-24T04:19:00.000-07:00

What happened when Britney Spears met Lady GaGa.

THE TOP 15 REASONS I WON'T SLEEP WITH YOU

2011-04-19T04:32:00.000-07:00

By Alex Nagorski

1. You like to use the urinal directly next to me when we go out.

2. You don't use directionals when you turn.

3. You defend people who think gum is an okay substitute for brushing their teeth.

4. You feel inspired by (and quote) Eat Pray Love.

5. You hum.

6. You walk at the pace of a dying snail.

7. You stopped to talk to the dude in the subway who asked if you had Jesus in your heart.

8. You actually use "lol" in text messages.

9. Whenever we go out to eat, I can't concentrate on what you're saying because of how loudly you're chewing. As Michael Caine said in Miss Congeniality, "what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap."

10. You try to validate Renee Zellweger's existence.

11. You literally asked me "so like, what are your hope and dreams?" as if you were Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed.

12. You thought Africa was a country.

13. Sometimes when you're watching TV, you get so invested that your breathing begins to sound like you're snoring.

14. You didn't have a complete coronary when you heard that Britney would be collaborating with Rihanna on a duet version of "S&M."

14. You're a Red Sox fan. Just kidding. I don't give a shit ... but I do care that you don't understand the brilliance of Buffy.

15. You'll never bring me the amount of joy this lady does:

Originally published on Crazytown Blog

ALL HAIL SARA RAMIREZ

2011-04-12T19:37:00.000-07:00

An open love letter to the Grey's Anatomy star.
By Alex Nagorski

Dear Sara Ramirez,

Hot dayuuuuum, girl. I knew you won a TONY for Spamalot, but who knew your voice could massacre pop like that? And I mean that in the best way. Like … that was some crazy Kelly Clarkson shit you pulled on Thursday’s musical episode of Grey’s. The second you opened your mouth for those opening notes of “Chasing Cars,” I knew that I’d be crying for the whole hour. At that moment, every fear I had about Grey’s even having a musical episode vanished.

I have to say, props are due to not only you, but the whole team behind Grey’s this season. Let’s be honest, season 1? Good. Season 2? Best season of any show on TV, like … ever. Season 3? Ugh, marry me. Season 4? Okay I still like you enough to not break up with you, but ... Season 5? GHOSTS, REALLY?!? Season 6? Um, okay, bye. Season 7? Reunited and it feels so gooooooood.

My point is that Grey’s has been solid gold this season. All the risks and experimentations the show has been doing have resulted in some of the best episodes of the series yet. Like that documentary-style episode? Pure genius. I saw characters who I’ve consistently watched for 6.5 years in a completely different light. That real-time episode where it was just one hour in the OR, down to the last second? My heart was pounding just as loudly as when those two strangers had that giant pole stuck through their chests after that bus accident in season two. And now, the musical episode.

Which brings me back to my point: is there a church dedicated to you? Because I’d like to go pray in it. All day. Every day. Ever since you released your debut EP last week, I’ve literally not listened to anything else except for your exquisite cover of Brandi Carlile’s “The Story.”

Upon my first listen, I was instantly floored. You brought so much emotion to the song. You did this amazing job of not just sounding beautiful as your voice soared, but also conveying that you were on the brink of tears. The amount of rawness and vulnerability you delivered just left me speechless. And then when you sang it at the end of the episode (although that version is slightly different than the one on your solo EP), I felt like I was the one about to flatline just from everything I was experiencing watching and listening to you.

Even without the music, this episode was incredibly emotional. In true Grey’s fashion, the mix of trauma and sexy comedy provided the formula for an hour of television I couldn’t turn away from. I mean, one minute you’re all giddy and singing Runnin’ On Sunshine while getting your mack on, and then literally a SECOND later the music stops and it cuts to you lying on the hood of your car, all bloody from going through the windshield. Talk about buzzkill, geesh.

Your character’s storyline has been my favorite this season. The whole triangle between you, Arizona, and Mark is just so addicting. When Mark yelled at Arizona and said that she was “nothing” because he was the biological father and you were the biological mother of your unborn child, I felt the harsh sting of his slap on my face. What a bastard! And then when Arizona was holding your hand while you were unconscious and was talking about how she “feels like your wife” and “feels like the mother of our baby” … I just lost it.

My only qualm with this episode was the lack of Ingrid Michaelson music. Nobody can argue that “Keep Breathing” is not just as quintessential to Grey’s as “Chasing Cars” or “How To Save A Life.” But alas, creator Shonda Rhimes is already talking about a potential second musical episode, so here’s holding out hope for that. Might I recommed Addison for the song? You know how much I love her ...

But don’t get me wrong. I really appreciated the song choices. Literally each and every song brought me back to another moment of the show that made my heart sink. When Bailey was singing “Waitin,’” I couldn’t help but remember that scene when Izzie is in the parking lot of the hospital saving that woman who can’t speak English. When Lexie sang “Breathe,” the bomb episode exploded in my head. And of course when “Chasing Cars” played, I couldn’t not think of Denny dying. But I won’t talk about that anymore because it’s still a sensitive topic …

Kudos to you and the Grey’s team all around. The episode was truly an accomplishment. Haters can step to the left. While you completely stole the show, everyone did a terrific job. And thank you to everyone that has made Grey’s Anatomy the ultimate guilty pleasure in my life.
Now if you excuse me, I’m going to go back to listening to “The Story” on loop.

Much love,
Alex Nagorski

P.S. Next time you see my girl Meredith (Ellen Pompeo), wouldja give her a “GOOD JOB BABY!” for me? That “why is the universe so miserable?” monologue she gave in the elevator was in-fucking-credible. Grade A acting. It's already going on my list of favorite Meredith speeches right behind the one I aptly title, “You can’t call me a whore because you made me one." Ok, seriously now though. Back to “The Story.”

Originally published on Crazytown Blog

How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying

2011-04-05T04:31:00.000-07:00

A review of Broadway's latest smash revival.
By Alex Nagorski

To be honest, I was kind of nervous going into seeing the new Broadway revival of How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying. I tend to not really be a fan of … actually, let’s not sugarcoat … I tend to despise old musicals. I usually find them annoying and overly campy. More often that not, that old Broadway glitz and glam of showtunes and jazz hands makes me want to crawl out of my skin and poke my eyes out. Plus I tend to get bored during happy things. I’ve never had more suicidal thoughts than when sitting through shows like The Music Man, Annie Get Your Gun, or 42nd Street. I know, I know, I’m a terrible homo. Whatever.

So when I heard that How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying was a revival of a musical comedy that was half a century old, I was very skeptical about what I was going to see. But damn, was I wrong to be.

The entire production was incredible. From the beautiful, expansive-yet-intricate set to the multi-colored mod Mad Men on-stage inspired costumes and hair, every detail of this show just clicked. The choreography (although far more contemporary than the period the show is set in) was remarkable and exciting. Kudos to the incredibly talented dancers who pull that off every night. Numbers like “Grand Old Ivy” can only be described as fun, fun, fun, fun (Copyright Rebecca Black 2011). If that were me dancing up there, I’d be laying in bed complaining about sore thighs, reaching for my asthma inhaler and hiring a body double … like Natalie Portman may or may not have done in Black Swan.

Daniel Radcliffe of Equus peen-revealing fame (oh, and I guess those little movies he made – something about wizards, a nose-less Ralph Fiennes, and the Chosen One?) shines as J. Pierrepont Finch, the most eager beaver in the whole dam. The story follows Finch as he climbs up the corporate ladder from window washer to junior executive to Vice President, etc. etc. by following the advice from a self-help book (narrated by CNN’s dreamy silver fox himself, Anderson Cooper) from which the show gets its title.

What works best for Radcliffe is his impeccable comedic timing. His discreet facial expressions give the audience such a clear insight into Finch’s brain, allowing us to know exactly what he’s thinking when presenting the façade of the innocent and overworked corporate slave to his bosses. The moments when D-Radz breaks the fourth wall and knowingly glances over at the audience, smiling with his eyes well enough to even make Tyra jealous, are pure comedic gold.

Ellen Harvey is perfectly cast as Miss Jones, the cynical and zinger-delivering secretary to the five-time Emmy Award winning actor John Larroquette’s hysterically sensitive J.B. Biggley. Rose Hemingway is adorable with truly impressive pipes as Finch’s love interest, Rosemary Pillkington. Christopher J. Hanke is sensational as Bud Frump, the villain who just can't seem to cut the umbilical chord to his mama quite yet. But it’s Tammy Blanchard as the Fran Drescher-esque Hedy La Rue, the token slutty dumb girl with a New York accent thicker than the crust at Artichoke Pizza, who steals the show. The delivery of every word was spot-on; making every other sentence she uttered literally cause uproars of laughter from the audience.

It is not difficult to see why this show was the recipient of the Pulitzer as well as the “Best Musical” Tony Award upon its initial release in 1961. Songs like “A Secretary Is Not A Toy” and “Coffee Break” had the audience in stitches while the penultimate number, “Brotherhood of Men” was musical theater at its very finest. And what’s amazing is that although this is a period piece, director Rob Ashford (Promises, Promises) was able to make the music – and actually, the overall production – feel culturally relevant and applicable to contemporary times.

So if someone like me, who's soul is one of Voldermort's horcruxes, was able to crack not one, but multiple smiles during this show, you can guarantee that this is a musical worth attending. How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying is a real triumph. I couldn’t recommend it any higher than if I were a window washer myself.

Originally published on Crazytown Blog

BRITNEY'S FIRST EVER CO-HEADLINING TOUR

2011-03-29T18:45:00.000-07:00

Who will pop icon Britney Spears share the spotlight with on her summer tour this year?

By Alex Nagorski (Britney enthusiast extraordinaire)

Prior to Britney Spears' surprise performance in Las Vegas on Friday, it was revealed that this summer she would be embarking on her first ever co-headlining tour (in support of her phenomenal new album, Femme Fatale). Details of whom Britney will be sharing the bill with have yet to surface, but sources promise that it’ll be a major name in the industry. I mean, duh. How can it not be? If you’re co-headlining with Britney Spears, you’re not going to be a little one-hit-wonder or a washed out has-been. Sorry, Willa Ford/Avril Lavigne.

How about Christina Aguilera? Talk about epicness. A Britney/Christina tour would sell out faster than Paramore did when they signed on to record that lame-ass Twilight theme song. Not only would it make the gays of yesteryear have a jitterspasm at the idea of seeing these two frenemies share a stage, but it would also just be a ridiculously smart move for both of their careers. Besides, Christina needs something in her life that isn’t deep fried or drenched in booze juice. And just think: Pepsi vs Coke sponsors! Crossroads/Burlesque mashed up intro videos! The possibilities are endless …

Then there’s the obvious option: Madonna. Britney and Madonna have like totes been besties since day one. Remember when Madonna wore that Britney shirt when “Baby One More Time” was just getting big? Or how about that glorious VMA performance? What about their duet, “Me Against The Music” and the sexy-as-fuck accompanying music video?

In case you need a time frame, "MATM" was right before Madge became Britney’s spiritual adviser. Hence the Kaballah bracelet in the “Everytime” video.

Today, the relationship between Madonna and Britney has gone from “it takes a legend to make a star” to pure comradery. Madonna cited Britney’s “Piece of Me” as the inspiration for the type of musical direction she intends to go in. Then of course, there was that video Britney recorded for Madonna’s Sticky & Sweet Tour in 2009, followed by a surprise performance at her L.A. show (I felt so jipped for going to the New York one, #justsayin). And apparently, the two were seen having a long talk in the corner of Madonna’s Academy Awards after-party this year. Gossiping about a tour collabo? As Pink once (profoundly) said, who knows?

But maybe Madonna is not the best choice for Britney to co-headline with. Don’t get me wrong, that would be an UHHHHH-MAZING tour that I would shell out top dollar to attend. But I feel as though in an effort to secure Britney’s reclaiming of the pop throne, her team won’t take the risk of booking a performer that has the potential to outshine her. That means that other divas such as Christina, Madonna and the rest of the minions (Lady GaGa, Cher, Beyonce, etc.) are most likely out of the running.

So who’s big enough to tour alongside Britney? My guess is that it’ll probably be someone who’s a major star in a completely different genre. That way, people won’t be able to compare the performances too much. My guess? Hip hop. My more specific guess? The Black Eyed Peas. Britney collaborated with Peas member Will.I.Am on the Femme Fatale track “Big Fat Bass." She’s a long time, open fan of the band and they do have enough hits and household name value to tour alongside Britney.

If not the Peas, Kanye is another good bet. Remember how he had that whole collaborative tour lined up with Lady GaGa that later got scrapped after that whole VMA incident? You know, the one that Taylor Swift never got over and treated as though he had murdered her family? Well, he might still be inkling to do something with a pop ingénue, and who better than Britney?

Oh, and in terms of an opener for the tour? Ke$ha is a shoe-in. Not only did she write Britney’s single, “Till The World Ends,” but her music is similar enough to Britney’s to warm the crowd up – but it’s not good enough to outshine our little Brit Brit.

We’ll have to be patient for the announcement of who Britney’s big co-headliner will be. It is being speculated that it'll be Enrique Iglesias, but I'm choosing to ignore those rumors because the idea of seeing Enrique Iglesias in concert sounds about as exciting as watching an M. Night Shyamalan marathon while giving yourself an enema. But if this is true, I guess we all better prepare for the "Can't Really Sing? Good Thing You're Pretty" tour.

In the meantime, I highly suggest you pick up a copy of “Femme Fatale,” in stores today. It’s easily Britney’s best and most mature work to date. I mean, if the thumping beats and Britney’s sexy vocals don’t make you want to be a stripper, then you really need to reevaluate your life and every choice you've ever made.

*** UPDATE #1: Britney just announced (8:30 am EST) on Good Morning America that she will indeed be touring with Enrique Iglesias this summer. The first round of dates have already been announced.

*** UPDATE #2: HALLELUJAH! Only hours after Britney announced the details of her co-headlining tour, Enrique Iglesias has already dropped out. Turns out Brit Brit doesn't hate her fans and won't force them to sit through that shit after all!

Originally published on Crazytown Blog

ARE YOU LISTENING, RYAN MURPHY?

2011-03-29T18:37:00.000-07:00

The 13 things that need to happen on GLEE before this season ends.
By Alex Nagorski

Darren Criss (a.k.a Blaine) poses for OUT Magazine

Love it or hate it, you have to give Glee credit where it’s due. To kids today, the show is what Saved By The Bell or Dawson’s Creek were to us growing up: the show that defines their generation. And yes, while it may have its fair share of issues (lack of character development, songs that don’t make sense with the plot, etc.) Glee is unarguably one of the most progressive shows on television.

Season 2 had a weak start but has been improving significantly each episode (Gleeks get drunk! Kathy Griffin as Sarah Palin!). To continue this upward climb, I’ve made a list of thirteen suggestions for Ryan Murphy and Co. to consider as they finish writing the remainder of the season to ensure they end on a high note (see what I did there?) before the finale this summer:

Brittany does a cover of Rebecca Black’s smash game-changing hit, “Friday”.
Blaine loses all of his clothes in a house fire and has to be naked for the rest of the season.
Rachel admits that her original song, “Get It Right,” was actually a B-side from Idina Menzel’s failed “pop” album, “I Stand.”
Mr. Schu donates all of his hair to Locks of Love, followed by a cover of anything from Britney’s Blackout album.
Tina and Mike film a response video to that ignorant blonde bimbo over at UCLA.
The end of all Katy Perry covers and inspired Cheerios routines.
Sam runs out of Lip Venom.
Finn discovers a way to get rid of the extra chromosome he nurses so well every time he tries to seriously act.
Mercedes actually busts the windows of someone’s car (ala Cher in Burlesque).
A guest starring appearance by Sarah Michelle Gellar for a special encore performance of “Something To Sing About” from the Buffy musical episode.
Artie spits out a Lil’Kim/Nicki Minaj mashup.
Santana and Brittany reenact the Natalie Portman/Mila Kunis sex scene from Black Swan.
Julie Andrews reveals the secret truth behind Kurt’s eunuch origins when she guest stars as his grandmother.

Originally published on Crazytown Blog

SO YOU WANT TO REALLY IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS?

2011-03-29T18:36:00.000-07:00

Then play this at your next get-together! Inspired by the pop achievement that is Rebecca Black's "Friday," I've created a playlist that's sure to make your friends have fun fun fun fun fun. Whether you want to play drinking games or just have something to listen to as that final push you need to jump off the George Washington Bridge, I present to you "WINNERS: The official playlist"

HOW I BECAME COURTNEY LOVE'S PERSONAL SHOPPER

2011-03-22T20:57:00.000-07:00

The first chapter of what's sure to be a life-long comradery.
By Alex Nagorski

(My BFFL C Lovez and I)

So there I was: minding my own business, walking down Broadway, bopping to Ke$ha and slicing away at some Fruit Ninja on my phone. I was en route to meet up with my friend Christine for drinks prior to a show some of our friends from college had written and were performing at the Frigid Theater Festival downtown. The date was Saturday, March 5 – which in gay time can be referred to as five whole days before Femme Fatale leaked.

All of a sudden, I feel someone’s hand grab the part of my body that would be a bicep had I not given up on the Insanity workout DVDs after day three. “Excuse me,” someone boisterously says. I take out my earphones and turn around to see who it is. Naturally, it’s Courtney Love.

“Hi, I’m sorry but I’m so fucking lost. Do you have any idea where ABC Carpet and Home is?” she asks me. She’s wearing a short black dress with an oversized black trenchcoat and stilettos that have a heel larger than her album sales have ever been. “Sure,” I respond. “It’s only a couple blocks down and I’m heading that way anyway. Would you like me to walk you?”

“You’re a fucking doll,” Courtney replies to me as she links her arm around mine and I begin escorting her down the bustling city street. “They should never let rock stars out at night,” she snickers as she snorts back the snot dripping from her nose – a cute little tick she kept doing for the rest of the night. Flu or ... ?

I’m thinking I should somehow acknowledge who she is. “I don’t know if this is inappropriate for me to say, but I really enjoyed the Hole record you put out last year,” I tell her. “That’s totally appropriate for you to say! You’re like one of four people who listened to it. What’s not appropriate is if you were to tell me how much you love Nirvana,” she responds. Immediately I start hearing my best friend Gina’s conspiracy theories on why Courtney actually killed Kurt playing back in my head. I have no response. Cricket cricket.

We get to ABC Carpet and Home but the store is closed. Courtney starts knocking on the door as two security guards come to the door. “Store’s closed, ma’am,” they tell her. “I have an appointment on the third floor,” Courtney replies. The guards do their little walky talky magic (reminding me how happy I am that Nextels don’t exist anymore) and tell her she’s allowed inside. “What are you doing right now?” she asks me. “Come with me!” she says while grabbing my hand and pulling me into the store with her.

And that’s how I literally spent the next 45-minutes walking around the empty store with Courtney Love and picking out plates, vases, pillows, cups, lamps, etc. for her new house. We chatted about everything from the British art dealer she’s seeing (“because who isn’t an art dealer these days, right?” Sure, Courtney) to how she’s the one that brought Russell Brand over to America (“I like nursed him on my tit”) to how I have “surprisingly really good taste” in home furnishings (“Thanks, it’s part of my license to gay”).

At the end of our little shopping excursion, the staff of the store had us leave through the service exit because the gates in the main entrance were already secured into place. As we parted ways (me to my friends’ show and her to an art opening), we hugged and did the European two-cheek-peck goodbye. “Sorry, do you mind if I take a picture with you so that my friends believe me why I’m late?” I ask. She doesn’t argue that for a moment and continues to thank me for helping her.

I have to say, Courtney Love is not at all what I expected her to be. She was actually a very easy-to-talk-to and warm person. I mean sure, it was a little diva-ish of her to insist on making the staff of the store stay after hours so she could shop, but like … there are worse offenses you can read if you Google her. She was talking to me like I was an old friend and I was half expecting her to offer that we have a sleepover so we would give each other makeovers, share a roll of cookie dough, and practice making out. And just for the record: I totally would have done it.

Originally published on Crazytown Blog